RoyAi Collection
by BleedingCoffee
Summary: Roy and Riza in a series of one-shots. Just some wholesome Royai, complete with fluff, humor and some lemon scent.
1. Awkward Proposal

_Author Note: _A collection of drabbles and prompts that I've written on Tumblr or LiveJournal that are just RoyAi moments with no chronological order or connected plot. A simple Series of One-shots of my OTP.

_Disclaimer_: I don't own FMA

* * *

><p><em>RoyAi Collection<em>

Chapter 1

**Awkward Proposal**

* * *

><p>The moment was finally here! They had survived the Promised Day, saved the world and managed to get his eyesight back. Roy was not Fuhrer (yet!) but things were on the road to change. For the first time in years he was completely confident in the direction his life was going. Soon they would depart for Ishval to rebuild but there was one thing he had to do first. He stood up and put his hands on his desk, it was the day they had worked towards for a decade.<p>

The Flame Alchemist completely lost his confidence as soon as Hawkeye looked at him. He could feel the courage leaving him, his body became cold and hands started to sweat. His knees started to shake and his voice box found a pitch it hadn't used since before he hit puberty. Overall this was a disaster and if he wasn't a bumbling idiot he would have called a retreat to regroup. "Lieutenant?"

Riza turned to look at him and she could see him shaking. His voice was distressed and he looked like he was going into shock. "General? Is everything OK?"

"Yes!" He said, the reply coming out in a whistle instead of the cocky and irrefutable affirmative he had hoped for. His brain screamed _abort! _but he was going to salvage this. He had to. "We've been together a long time."

Riza cocked her head. Mustang was clearly shaken and this conversation starter almost sounded like there was going to be a disruption to that 'being together' part. He kept rubbing his hands on his pants nervously and ran his fingers through his hair like he always did when he was trying to pretend he was in control of the situation. What was going on? "Sir?"

"Would you….." Roy inwardly cursed at himself. That wasn't what he practiced! "Will you honor…"

She stared at him. Honor her promise? To shoot him? What the hell was he thinking? They did the right thing! "If this is about the human transmutation, you were forced to do that sir!"

He opened his mouth to say something then shut it. Ok, this was already spiraling out of control. "No, that's not it."

She wondered what else he could be experiencing guilt over. What he could think had lured him off his path? "Using the philosopher's stone was the right thing to do!"

_Say it Idiot! SAY IT before this goes to hell! _"You said you'd follow me into hell and…I want to know if you'd do it by my side instead." _Oh my God, you fucking idiot!_

"Are you asking me to shoot myself too?" She asked. "I thought we cleared this up in the tunnels, without you I…"

"I can't be without you!" He said in a pitchy squeak. "I mean, I want to be with you for all eternity."

She frowned. Now he was experiencing insecurity issues about the afterlife?

"Forget everything I just said." He stepped forward and wiped his hands off again on his pants. "What I need to know…I mean what I want to ask….What I'm trying to say is…."

She listened to a string of Xingese curses she couldn't even begin to understand. He reached in his pocket and took out a small bag. He took out a ring and held it up between them.

"Will you do me…." the ring suddenly slipped from his wet and trembling fingers and hit the ground. "FUCK!"

She watched him drop to his knees to find the ring he had dropped and continued to watch him crawl around the office floor, and under his desk. More Xingese curses filled the room as she looked at her General's ass wiggling around as he tried to grab a ring he intended to give to her. It was like they were kids again, that lanky teenager who stole her heart and treated her like a queen even though he could have had any girl he wanted. He chose her. Then there was a thump as he whacked his head on his desk as he tried to crawl back out.

"Son of a bitch!" Roy hissed and finally a little anger and frustration helped him push aside his anxiety. He got out from under the desk and remained kneeling. Then he brushed some hair from his eyes, raised one knee and held out the ring again. He had nearly half his life to prepare for this moment and now he had so thoroughly botched it that he was about ready to just tell her to shoot him. "Riza, will you marry me?"

She bit her lip and suddenly was overwhelmed with emotion as tears started to well up in her eyes.

He stood up when she didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't say that last thing out loud. "Will you do me the honor of being your wife….I mean my wife. Will you be my wife?"

She leapt into his arms, catching him off guard and apparently off balance as he fell backwards and slammed into the floor. The ring, once again, flew out of his hand and across the floor. She placed her lips on his, excited and also as a preventative measure to stop him from saying anything else. His arms wrapped around her and she lost herself in the kiss, not hearing the door to the office open or the entire team enter to find out what the 'bang' was.

Breda burst into tears. "Oh my God! This is the best kind of bang! I can die happy!"

Roy looked up at the team, minus Havoc who was still in the hospital in rehab. Breda was sobbing into Falman's shoulder and muttering things about the satisfaction of finally seeing them kiss. Falman just smiled at him and Fuery was not attempting to hide his joy. He however just didn't care. There was something he still needed to hear and he was hoping she wouldn't make him ask again. "So, was that a yes?"

"Yes." Riza said and kissed him again.

Roy pointed in the direction of where the ring flew. As soon as she broke off the kiss he found his commanding voice again and said, "Can someone please get me the ring I just dropped so I can give it to my fiance?"


	2. Movie Night

_RoyAi Collection_

Chapter 2

**Movie Night**

* * *

><p>Roy casually munched on his popcorn as he looked on the floor for a sign that Riza had taken a seat in that row of the theater. He was wearing his fedora and brown coat plus a pair of glasses he picked up at the thrift store. Date night with Riza was always such a production, however he loved every minute of it.<p>

He glanced down as he saw a dog leash and picked it up before selecting that row. When he reached the blond in the sweater with the black and white 'child' wearing a bonnet, he cleared his throat and whispered, "Miss, you seem to have dropped your…baby tether."

Riza looked up at him in his ridiculous oversized glasses and felt Hayate's tail thump on her leg. "Thank you sir."

"What an adorable kid!" He sat and sat down, giving Hayate a piece of popcorn.

"You'll spoil his dinner, Mister." She said and smiled at him as the lights dimmed and the projector started to hum. She could see in the flickers of light him removing parts of his disguise to get comfortable and she happily took the stupid bonnet off Hayate so he could curl up beside her and go to sleep.

"What if I make it up to you?" He whispered. "Dinner at my place?"

"You'll spoil my dinner too." She whispered back. "The moment we walk in that door you're going to take off your jacket and make me want my dessert first."

"What if I just classify it as an appetizer?" He leaned in close to her ear. "Make sure you work up an appetite first?"

Riza chuckled as some lady three rows down turned around and 'SHUSH'ed them loudly. The lady started muttering something about 'kids these days' and 'no wonder the floors are sticky'. She smiled as he leaned back in his seat and grabbed her hand on the armrest.

Roy remained quiet for most of the movie, enjoying his popcorn, company and the hand he was holding. He thought the film would be something silly however "The Mummy" turned out to be humorous and engrossing. Half through he leaned over and whispered, "This could be us. You that gun toting, ex-solider turned adventurer looking for treasures. Me the bookworm who reads from the wrong book and triggers the end of the world."

Riza whispered back, "This _is_ us. Right down to you being an idiot who has some fan trying to kidnap you and use your body."

"For human transmutation." He nodded. "Uncanny."

"SHUSH!"

Roy stuck his tongue out at the woman who couldn't see it in the dark, but that wasn't the point. "I'd love it if you wore tight pants with tall boots."

Riza heard a dreamy sigh from behind them and stiffened.

"You two are so cute." Barry the Chopper popped up between them and sighed again. "i just love you both to pieces. Little…tiny…bloody…loving pieces."

Roy frowned as the damned stalker serial killer ruined another date. "I'd love to chop your blood seal into pieces."

Riza squeezed Roy's hand as Barry sat back down to enjoy the rest of the movie. "Stop it, both of you."

"What the hell are you doing here anyway? How did you even get in here?" Roy turned to look at the annoying hunk of armor but met with Riza's glare first. "Nevermind"

"Behave boys." Riza said and they all settled back in to watching the film.


	3. You're Always Leaving

_RoyAi Collection_

Chapter 3

**You're Always Leaving**

* * *

><p>Riza looked over at Roy finally sleeping soundly in his own hospital bed. It was over, the Promised Day had come and gone and….it was over. Their quest to save the world had come and gone and along with it, his dreams of changing it. Gone. His dreams, his plans gone with with his vision, his last piece of paperwork he would sign as Colonel Mustang would be his honorable discharge.<p>

It was how their relationship had been from the beginning. He was always leaving.

It began when he came to study with her Father, how she couldn't help but fall for this sweet city boy who adored her for who she was. She finally had a friend and what she considered a _boy_friend. Then he left.

It broke her heart, but she kept going in her mundane life. At least she had the experience. Better to have loved and lost, right? However he came back….in uniform. Her father died and he stayed with her, more treasured days with Roy only to see him ready to leave after the funeral. Before he left she offered him something he couldn't resist, the secret to Flame Alchemy. It was the right decision, he was the one.

Then he cursed himself for leaving. Leaving her father to burn this into her back. The tears of shame and fury, and words of an idealist who wanted to protect everyone. He'd do it too. He now had something to protect people with. She watched him leave again, his head held high and his determination set. He left.

Time passed and she had already decided it was time for her to leave. Leave this old house and her memories. Leave that little girl behind that cried for the mother that died and the love she never asked to stay. She left that weak girl behind and became a confident woman. Confident in her skill, confident that she would protect people too. They met again and she found out that he also left that young boy he was behind, to be replaced by someone who questioned everything and hated himself.

The war ended and he announced that once again, he was leaving. This time he was going to aim his sites for the top and change things. She finally couldn't allow him to leave this time, she wasn't liking the trend. He always came back worse, the only way to make sure he didn't go where she couldn't follow was to be beside him.

It was a blessing and a curse. She told him to burn her back, leave the secrets that were eating them both alive to die with them. No more flame alchemists. All those burns did was leave behind a scar, something to wounded them both so deeply they still hadn't recovered. She saw her failings and he saw her disappointment. He saw his betrayal and her pain, pain he caused. So he left, to make things right. To atone for his sins. Once she was healed, she made the decision to never let him leave again. She would follow him into hell, though he saw it as devotion and not a threat then.

They left behind the tired dance of friendship and embraced the role of lovers. He finally asked if she wanted to get married and all she could do was picture him leaving every day. Walking out the door into the unknown and she told him no. She loved him but she was not going to leave his side. She didn't need a certificate to tell them what they were.

It was the best decision she ever made. Roy was excellent at walking himself into stupid situations. He almost walked into Scar's hand, almost ended up a splatter of deconstructed mass in the middle of the city. Then he almost died by Lust's hand and she thought he left her for good. Then he almost was eaten by Gluttony. He was an absolute idiot. Then he tried to leave himself behind in order to satisfy his anger with Envy. So she turned the tables on him. _ I'll leave with you._ It was enough to stop him and make her thankful she never left him by himself.

However the threat of her leaving him became a reality….when she was bleeding on the floor and watching her life leak out as he stared at her helpless. She saw his desperation, his fear. He'd never survive her leaving. It took every ounce of her being to tell him No. She wasn't going to leave. She was ordered not to die and _so help me God if you try to perform human transmutation.._..

That was the past and now they were sitting in their beds in the hospital. He left her side and came back blind, but this time it was not his choice. She looked at him and wondered if he could leave it all behind; The job and his goals.

"What's wrong?" Roy sat up and turned. He looked in her direction, frustrated with the darkness. "Riza?"

She raised her eyebrows and didn't realize she had started to cry until he sat up and looked at her. His eyes blank orbs. "I'm here, I'll never leave."

"Then come over here and tell me why you're upset. Don't worry about me."

She got up and sat on his bed. Her hand caressing his face and his eyes searching for something even though they both knew it was pointless.

"I'll leave it to you to be my eyes." He said and nuzzled into her caress. "We'll make it through this."

"I'm actually hoping your common sense will improve with the other heightened senses. " She said softy.

He smiled. "I think that's a little optimistic don't you? Just look…I don't have enough sense to not kiss my Lieutenant when anyone could walk in here."

She held her breathe as he landed a kiss on her chin, then dragged his lips up to the corner of her mouth and finally found her lips. She had to smile. "Don't you ever try to leave me again."

"When the hell did I ever want to leave you?"


	4. Bath Time

AN: Warning-Nude Roy

_RoyAi Collection_

Chapter 4

**Bath Time**

* * *

><p>"Riza!" Roy called out, " Bath is ready!"<p>

He knelt down on the bathroom rug and turned off the water. He playfully blew on the mountain of bubbles that smelled like strawberries and the sweet smell of soapy seduction. Or that could have just been his active imagination. However when he had his own line of bath products the later was going to be a scent.

"Riza!" He sang her name and smirked. "Don't make me come out there and sing to you!"

"I said I was taking a bath…not a bath with you!"

He frowned. "Sorry I gave you a headache at the office today but…."

"But you're a childish idiot who can't help screaming insults at a teenager?"

Roy stood up and determined that she probably wasn't in the mood to walk in here and see him standing naked with a rose clenched in his teeth. He was going to have to turn up the seduction a notch! So he wrapped himself in the delightfully fluffy towel and padded out of the bathroom with his rose in his hand.

Riza just finished choosing whether she wanted wine or ibuprofen. Mixing the two was a bad idea so the choice had to be made. Wine won. As her lips touched the rim of the glass she saw him slide out of the hallway, in a towel with one of his classic "I'm going to make you question why you love me." smiles on his face.

"Oh snap, snap!" Roy sang as he whipped the towel off his waist and snapped at the couch.

Riza shook her head. The man was impossible not to love.

He held the rose like a microphone as he stood there naked in her living room. His hips swayed and he winked at her, "Spark, spark!"

She watched him throw the rose in the fireplace and the flames flare up. Damn him for being so fucking cute and creative.

"Time to light up the diggy diggy dark!" He spun and wiggled his ass at her in preperation of belting out the rest but her chuckling voice made him look over his shoulder and smile.

Riza raised her wine glass and pointed at the window. "Those people can see you out in the park."

He blinked and turned to look out the patio doors which were not covered by the vertical blinds. "Shit!"

She watched him cover himself with the discarded towel and dart back to the bathroom.

"Riza! Bath's ready! Come and get it!"

She smiled and took her wine with her as she made her way to her bathroom.


	5. An Arguement

_RoyAi Collection_

Chapter 5

**An Arguement**

* * *

><p>Roy rested his head against the glass as the train clacked down the rails and headed back to East City. The lights of the city faded, giving way to the rural areas and he looked across to Riza who was still reading her book. "So is there a betting pool in the office on how long my relationship is going to last?"<p>

She glanced up at him. Of course there was, the team had a gambling problem. Betting on Roy's dates was a given. "That's a stupid question."

He pulled out his wallet and handed her some bills. "Put that on two weeks for me. At least I'll come out of this with something."

She stared at the money in her hand as he went back to looking out the window. "What?"

"Yeah that should do it. About two weeks to get tired of the phone sex and long commute." He thought about it. "Maybe we should plan an office party too, so at least there will be cookies when I take everyone's money."

She stood up, dropped the money in his lap and smacked him with the book she was reading. "You idiot."

He cringed and looked at her incredulously. "What the hell Hawkeye!?"

"Do you have any idea how miserable you are? Do you have any idea how much it tears us apart to know that you are miserable because of your goals? Miserable because you want to save the country?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure the guy at the liquor store does." He cringed as she looked like she was going to hit him again. Why did they have to be alone right now? He was going to get bludgeoned to death with a mystery novel and there was nobody to save him.

"God Roy, why do you self destruct like this? Why is it when you feel what it's like to be happy again that you think it's so damned wrong?"

He sat there quietly as she threw her book into the seat and put her hands on her hips. Preparing to berate him like he was a child. Well apparently his little joke struck a nerve and he was curious as to what nerve that was. It was serious, they dropped the formalities and were on a first name basis. Clearly this had been brewing a while. "Riza, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Your happiness does _not_ impede your ability to attain your goals."

"When have I ever been outwardly happy?" Then he added snidely, "Oh wait this one time I had a puppy for a minute…. and then you took it away. Does that count?"

"Stop it. Don't you dare mock me now. Not when I'm worried about you!"

"Ok, then let's think back to the day I left your father's house and asked you to come with me. Remember that?"

"Of course I do. What was I going to do in Central? I was too young to go to academy. I had no skills to get a job. What was I going to do?"

"You told me goodbye. _You did_."

"Or else you would have stayed. You would have stayed and kept pressuring my father for the secrets to flame alchemy and rotted away in that house just like he did. A slave to those books."

"Instead of a slave to the state."

"Instead of a damned hero. Instead of the man who rose up out of nothing to be here! A man poised to change a nation corrupted by the elite and a government that demands the worst in human nature. A man who is going to save us all." She paused as he seemed to look a little guilty. "What?"

"Would it be a bad time to mention that Vanessa works at my Mom's place and….I was just 'dating' her to piss off Havoc and win the office pool?"

She turned and grabbed her book ready to smack him in the front of the face this time. As soon as she turned he was standing there with a look on his face that made her fury fade.

"So if my happiness doesn't impede my ability to attain my goals…." He leaned in close and felt her hold her breath. "Does that mean I can have the dog back?"

As she went to swing the book he grabbed her arm and she couldn't help but laugh. "You are such an asshole."

"What if I told you that _you_ made me happy. That the joy I have in my life is seeing you almost every day and having you yell at me like we've been married forever." He brushed back a strand of her hair and leaned in close. "What would you say then?"

"You better start walking the dog, because you have not been doing your fair share of parenting." She whispered back and his lips cracked a small smile.

"You just yelled at me for not seizing the opportunity to enjoy life. Apparently I'm entitled to it because I'm trying to save the world." He swallowed hard. He sure was good at saying things but when it came down to actually moving the next three inches closer and kissing her, he was paralyzed.

"Must I do everything?" She asked and dropped the book, grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him down into her kiss.


	6. The World's Fair

_RoyAi Collection_

Chapter 6

**The World's Fair**

* * *

><p>Roy Mustang was in heaven. He danced around the office waving his precious tickets at everyone and Havoc thought that he just might have seen little anime hearts pulsating in his eyes. "Oh boy, so excited." he said dryly as Mustang almost paper-cut his eyes out trying to show him the tickets.<p>

"It's the World's Fair! How can you not be excited!?" Roy chirped and actually giggled like a fangirl. "_THE_ World's Fair! The premier exposition of state of the art technology! A showcase of industrial and science advancements! The 'world of tomorrow' in Central today!"

Riza sighed. He reminded her of Ed's girlfriend whenever she saw automail.

Breda nudged his friend. "Come on Jean, you have to find it at least interesting! It's the World's Fair."

"My fair back home…we expo livestock. The bacon of tomorrow, in the show ring today." Havoc looked down the table to see Fuery also rather excited and Falman thoughtful. He shrugged. It was at least a break from paperwork and East City. As staff to a State Alchemist they were entitled to make the journey with him as he gallivanted around the Fair looking at all the exhibits like the nerd he was. "Seems silly to call it the World's fair anyway when the only country we actually let attend is Xing."

"It's more of a boast of world dominance on the part of the state." Breda doodled on his paperwork. "A way to boost national pride and also distribute information to the masses. Or in our case, make our fearless leader dance around like an idiot."

"Oh Boy, so excited." Havoc repeated with even less enthusiasm as before. He looked at Hawkeye who was dutifully trying to complete paperwork before they left for the week. Lucky her, having to babysit him in the scientist's equivalent of a toy store.

Xxxxxxxx

Riza was having a hard time keeping an eye on Mustang as he seemed to be swarmed by fangirls wanting autographs one minute and then entranced by some exhibit the next. She wondered if he realized the only reason the Military had given him tickets was to show _him_ off to the populace. Mustang _was _the state of the art weapon the military had at it's disposal and here he was with his charming smile and boyish glee walking amongst the people. She sighed as he disappeared into some exhibit featuring the Fiji Mermaid. She just knew as soon as she walked in there he as going to be scrutinizing it to determine if it was a fake or a chimera.

"It's a damned monkey sewn onto a carp." Roy declared as soon as he set eyes on her. "It's really not that hard to fake this with alchemy. I could probably make them something more realistic with a can of tuna and some dryer lint."

She bent down and looked at it. "Why did you come in here?"

"To lure you into a dark booth alone with me." He winked at her as the hovered near the glass display case, illuminated by a dim bulb.

"You, me and this fancy tuna?"

"It's the only non-popular exhibit I saw since we came to the fair." He looked at the mermaid again and frowned.

She smiled as he squeezed her hand lightly and then stood up with a sigh. "You're the most popular exhibit by far."

"You noticed that too, hmmm?" He leaned in and whispered, "Good thing I only am an exhibitionist for you."

"That wasn't even remotely clever."

"You should kiss me and shut me up before I embarrass myself further." He said with a seductive tone to his whisper.

"If that was how we operated, you would have starved by now." Riza dead-panned.

He leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips. "Love you too."

Riza gave him a smile and said, "Let's go before they start asking why you're in here so long."

Roy watched her leave and pulled out his map of the fair. Somewhere there had to be a remote location they could escape to. "Lieutenant! I want to see the instant pudding exhibit!"

She turned and looked at him as he came out of the booth. "Did you just say pudding?"

"Instant pudding! It's like….vanilla flavored edible alchemy!" He gave her a smirk.

"Ok." She fell in behind him as he picked up the pace and briskly walked past a dozen or so exhibits that would have actually interested him if he wasn't on a mission to discover the miracle of instant dessert.

Roy was thrilled that absolutely no one was at the pudding exhibit. Not even the manufacturers. He walked in and looked around, it was brightly lit and actually had a rather delicious smell wafting around the booth. Most importantly, it was empty. "Riza, I have something very important to ask you."

"It seems unnatural." She said and looked at the display on the wall proclaiming that delectable pudding could be ready in less than five minutes.

He paused as he felt around his pocket. Oh, she was talking about the pudding. "It's just a reaction between the milk and something in the powder that starts the thickening process. Instead of heat, the component in the powder triggers the reaction."

"What 'something'?" She asked knowing he'd huff at her, irritated that he didn't know.

"If I knew that, I'd be the one with the patent and better attendance at my booth at the World's Fair." He fumbled again in his pocket and realized he was still wearing his gloves. So he quickly pulled his right glove off and then went back into his pocket for the ring before she could turn around.

"Fangirls and Pudding." She sighed and turned to him and saw the fake innocent smile plastered on his face. "What are you up to?"

"I said I have a question to ask."

She stepped forward and gave him that look she reserved for moments like these when he wanted to take risks in public places. Then her eyebrows rose as he produced a ring and took a step closer to her.

"So this isn't what I had planned. I wanted to go somewhere perfect and romantic, but fate just seems to keep ruining my plans. I hate that we can only be together in secret, sneaking into each other's apartments in disguise or stealing kisses at the office. You deserve better than that. I know we keep saying that once we reach the top it's all going to change, but I don't think you should have to wait for this. I need you to know how very much I need you and want you to be with me forever. I want us both to know that our 'World of Tomorrow' might be a long way off but when we finally get there that there will be no question of what we do next."

She held her breath as he went down on one knee and took her hand.

"Riza, will you marry me?" He had gone through this a million times in his head, but never once did he think he'd be doing it in a pudding display. Maybe once or twice he contemplated a bathtub full of pudding, but that just seemed unsanitary and probably wouldn't drain well. He swallowed hard, realizing his mind was rambling to keep his nerves at bay.

"Yes." She bit her lip as he put the ring on her finger and then stood up and kissed her. Was that really all she could say? Shouldn't there be something unforgetable? No…her mind was a complete blank and she was lucky she remembered how to even say that one little word.

"I'm sorry that nothing about our lives is normal." He ran his hand down her cheek. "That ring has been in the family for generations. It's not much, but it's about all the Mustang's really have to pass down."

"I wish I could wear it." She said softly, knowing in a few minutes she'd be taking it off to hide it. Was this really happening?

He kissed her again. "I'm sorry I couldn't find somewhere better to propose than the pudding booth."

"I'm just glad you didn't pick the Fiji Mermaid booth."

"Someday I promise I'll make up for everything I couldn't do…"

She smiled at him. "Being by your side is worth it. I never question that decision."

He looked up as he heard someone scream about pudding and realized their time was up. He placed one final kiss on her lips before she had to pull off the ring and put it in her pocket. They turned away from each other and tried to look engrossed by the nutritional facts on the posters on the wall. He had to focus hard to try and erase the smile on his face as nobody would believe he was that excited about the calcium content of instant pudding. "By God, it's even Gluten free!"

She clutched the ring in her hand and smiled. By god, that man was her fiance! She felt a tingle as she clutched the ring. She never doubted his intentions but somehow this one little token meant so much.

"Whip it until it's creamy." Said the irresistible voice from the other side of the booth.

She shook her head. Maybe by the time they could marry he would grow up. "Time to go, sir."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	7. Memories

_Royai Collection_

Chapter 7

**Memories**

* * *

><p>"I made you more coffee." Riza walked into the dark study and saw Roy's head lying on a book. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open and a light snore escaped his skinny body. She frowned at her father's apprentice who was struggling to work out some theory and gave up on sleep in order to do so by the deadline her father had set. She set the carafe down and went over to pick up a blanket from the shelf, then walked over to drape it over his scrawny shoulders. She looked down at the old text and realized that he was drooling a little on the old brittle pages, her father would pitch a fit if he saw water stains on his precious books.<p>

Riza slipped her hand under his forehead and lifted him up so she could slip the book out from under him. Successful she set him back down on the table and blew gently on the book to help it dry. Thankfully none of the older ink was blurred and the young alchemist would avoid another lecture from her father about being careless with priceless books. She set the book down on the table and blew out the light.

Roy blinked awake as soon as he smelled the smoke from the extinguished candle. He groaned and felt a blanket around him and someone standing next to him. "Riza?"

She put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Sorry, I didn't want the candle to burn down."

He sat up and felt the crocheted blanket that draped over him and then looked in the general direction of the candle. "Someday, I hope I can light that damned thing without having to remember where I put the matches."

"It's daylight." She informed him. "Most intelligent and thrifty people just take advantage of the windows for light."

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. Riza was three years his junior but thanks to this life she always seemed to be older and practical than him; her life of self-reliance and doing whatever necessary to make ends meet in a run down old home with a emotionally dead Father. She had to grow up too fast and when he wasn't standing beside the young girl looking at her youthful features, it was hard to remember she was only thirteen. Her life revolved around making the best of what they had, working during daylight and conserving things like candles because even those had to be made.

"I brought you coffee." She offered.

"Thank you." He said. Coffee. Something else he had taken for granted. There was always a fresh pot brewing at Madam Christmas's, the girls never wasted money or time on spirits. They needed caffeine. However it was one of the first shocking revelations when he came to the Hawkeye's for his studies; there was no coffee. Coffee cost money as it could not be grown here and this was a self sustaining farmstead. Whatever could not be grown or made, had to be traded for and coffee was not a necessity. Well maybe not to them, but it was right up next to Oxygen on the list of things he needed to survive. So he did little errands for the general store manager in exchange for coffee when he was in town with Riza.

"I can make you breakfast?" She offered in an attempt to lure him out of the cavern of books and manuscripts.

"Sounds great." He never heard her bare feet make a sound as they tread across the floor, it was always the creaky floorboards that gave away her presence. The foundation of the Hawkeye home was shifting and eroding, thanks to the lack of gutters and grading around the home. One more thing Riza tried to fix when she wasn't canning, hunting or managing the estate. When he could he tried to help her but it was always painfully obvious who the city boy was. The nimble and crafty Miss Hawkeye could climb into the rafters and patch roof tiles, slip under the floor into the crawl space to repair pipes and milk the cow as well as tend to it's basic vet needs. He generally stood and watched, feeling useless as he didn't know any worthwhile alchemy to do more than repair broken dishes and re-craft rusty nails into usable ones. His studies were beginning to suffer since he was doing more research into helping make her life easier than into whatever Berthold Hawkeye was trying to teach him about the noble elements. Hence his lack of sleep, his work was due tomorrow and his teacher would not be impressed with his wheel barrow repair or berry picking prowess. "Did you need help with the garden today?"

Riza opened the door and let the light from the hall flood into the room. "If you will stop eating half of the crop, sure."

He stood and let the blanket fall off his shoulders, then picked up the coffee carafe. "In my defense you didn't provide adequate instructions for the 'taste testing' aspect of my raspberry picking."

"Mr. Mustang, next time you eat half my garden you should remember how much raspberries stain. Your hands were stained red."

"I ate the overripe ones!" He walked over to the door and smirked at her. "It was…a service."

"Maybe I'll just have you pick lettuce instead." She said and turned to walk down the hall to the kitchen. "Or zucchini."

"I think I figured out how to fix the milking stool." he said proudly. Carpentry wasn't ever one of his interests but once he researched the composition of wood he figured out how to repair the broken leg of the stool. It only took four hours to complete the array in his pocket.

"It's 9 am." She said and pointed to the bucket of milk in the sink. "I already fixed it with a broken broom handle."

He frowned. Some days he hated her ingenuity. However he should have known better, it was how she survived out here. Master Hawkeye seemed to be of the opinion that things just magically happened in order to provide them with meals and heat.

"I'm sorry, you wanted to fix it with alchemy didn't you?"

"No, I wanted to milk the cow again and have her tell me I was mishandling her teats." He slumped into the chair and set his coffee down as a soft blush grew on Riza's face before she turned away and started to heat up a frying pan. "I know you can handle everything on your own Riza, but as your friend I really want to help you. I like studying with you and I don't think it's fair that you have the chores of an entire family on your shoulders when you should be concentrating on your studies."

"There is plenty of time to study in the winter." She informed him. "You'll see. However when the summer is here I have to get as much done as possible or we be without in the winter."

"I know."

"However when it's January and you want to help, I'll wake you at 5 am and let the cow tell you how much she doesn't appreciate your cold hands on her teats."

He snorted and poured his coffee into the chipped mug waiting for him. He had technically heard that one before but in a different context from one of Christmas's girls.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Colonel Roy Mustang managed to drown out the excited and obnoxious chatter from the Elrics as they sat in the diner awaiting their order to arrive. He looked out the window at the street vendors selling produce and some farm carts traveling up and down the street filled with the day's harvest. It was a nice small town they had stopped in, and it reminded him of the one that the Hawkeyes had lived in. Hence the reason he was staring out the window recalling days of his youth and the structural issues of the Hawkeye homestead.

Riza sat at the table listening intently to the stories the Elrics were sharing about their recent trip home. Roy had zoned out a while ago, about as interested in automail and Resenbool as he was in doing paperwork back in the office. She however was enjoying their stories about their Granny, Winry and an adventure with a amputee dog and a skunk. Then however the waitress arrived and placed a pitcher of milk in front of Ed.

"Here you go young man." The waitress smiled at the blond boy as he stared at the white substance in the pitcher. "You should listen to your Dad, drinking milk will help you grow up big and strong."

Ed began to twitch as he looked at the disgusting milk in the pitcher. Mustang had a habit of ordering milk for him when he bought him food, refusing to pay for anything else. Traveling with Mustang and Hawkeye always got them the comments about being family and the Colonel just took it in stride and found a way to piss him off with it. This however was downright disgusting! Not just a glass of milk, a whole damned dairy full of it in a pitcher in front of him! He clenched his fists and shook with rage, trying to come up with something to say before that bastard turned and opened his mouth to casually insult him.

"Say thank you kid." Roy could feel the waitress hovering at the end of the table and turned to look at Ed. "Someone had to get up at 5am and milk that cow to provide you with that nutritious and delicious beverage. Someone, unlike you, who knew how to properly handle a pair of teats."

Riza turned to stare at him in disbelief as the waitress overfilled her coffee cup. Then Roy's smug smile announced he wasn't quite finished.

"Especially with that automail hand of yours, I mean…who wants cold metal hands on their teats?"

Riza wished he wasn't wearing steel toed boots, she would have broken his toes for that.

Ed exploded. He stood up and slammed his fists into the table, kicking the chair out from behind him. "Damn you Mustang…."

Roy only had time to wince as suddenly a pitcher of milk was flung into his face. He heard the gasp from Al and the waitress, then the snicker from Riza as he wiped his eyes off with his now milk soaked gloves.

"Look who's useless even with a pitcher of milk in the morning!" Ed snapped. "You ass!"

Roy casually ran his fingers through his milk soaked hair and brushed it back out of his eyes. "Ingrate."

"Don't talk about milking and teats….I told you Winry is just my friend! You disgusting old bastard!" Ed screamed and it was quite possible Winry heard it several counties over.

"I was talking about dairy farming and quoting a friend of mine." Roy stood up and looked at the mess around his chair. "Isn't that right Lieutenant? Tell the runt who the real pervert is here."

"Hardly the appropriate place for nostalgia, sir." She said as he gave her a pout and she knew what was coming next.

"Well now I have to go to our hotel room and change. Perhaps you can help clean up this mess while you wait for your breakfast Fullmetal?" Roy gave a dramatically heavy sigh and watched Riza stand and give him the disapproving cock of her eyebrow. Clearly she wasn't as amused as he was at his clever way to use their hotel room alone for a little while. Only one small bed and breakfast here in town and one vacancy left the four of them crammed into small room with one twin bed a couch and a roll away cot. Now, however, he had an excuse to use that twin bed with Hawkeye before the maid came to clean the rooms. No points for romanticism, but several points for tactical manipulation.

Ed stammered and looked at the restaurant manager coming with a mop and bucket as the Colonel and Lieutenant left the restaurant. "Son of a bitch!"

Al chuckled. "Yes, brother, what exactly were you thinking about?"

Ed growled. "Shut up Al."


	8. Continued Education

AN: My LJ fma-fic-contest entry for prompt 299- Alternative Universe….plus the rest of the damned drabble I couldn't help but write.

If Roy didn't leave for the academy and stayed with the Hawkeyes to master flame alchemy….and later got two apprentices.

* * *

><p><em>RoyAi Collection<em>

Chapter 8

**Continued Education**

* * *

><p><em>June 1908<em>

"You're really young."

"You're really short but you don't see me walking into your home and insulting you." Roy Mustang's eyes narrowed at the boy, Edward Elric. "Where are your parents?"

"Mom died and Dad…" Alphonse began to reply but his brother finished for him.

"Dad is a loser who walked out on her. So can you teach us alchemy? We have the money to pay you." Ed piped in.

Riza looked over her shoulder at her husband as he fed their newborn daughter with the bottle. Since her father's death three years ago, there weren't many apprentices that came calling at the house. "You're how old?"

"I'm nine." Ed said defiantly.

"Eight." Al replied.

Roy rocked the baby in his arms. "You're not trying to learn alchemy so you can perform human transmutation are you?"

The boys stared at him in disbelief.

"I lost my parents too, it crossed my mind." Roy explained and looked at the little girl he was holding. "This however is as close as we humans should ever dare to tread to that line of playing God. You want a teacher, I'll teach you, but you will swear an oath to me that you will never attempt anything so stupid as human transmutation. Understand?"

"You don't understand…" Ed stammered.

"I do." Roy looked to them both and then to the door. "So either say 'Yes' or get out. I won't have a part in your destruction."

* * *

><p><em>September 1908<em>

"What are we paying you for if you won't teach us Flame Alchemy?"

"You ingrate! You're paying me for alchemy lessons not the rights to Flame Alchemy secrets!"

Riza walked over and pet Alphonse's head as Ed and Roy argued in the study. She could see on Al's face that he didn't share his brother's opinion on the matter and was slightly embarrassed by the situation. She looked down at Al's work as he sat at the kitchen table and finished his breakfast. "They're both very stubborn."

Al looked up at her and smiled. He adored Riza and she encouraged them both just as his own mother used to do. She even put Ed's horrible drawings on the refrigerator like they were works of art instead of barely distinguishable scribbles. "Ed's always had an anger issue."

"Roy too." Riza refilled his milk and looked up as she heard the baby start to cry because of the argument. "However it's going to be me losing my temper because those two started a screaming match as soon as I got her to bed."

Al looked up as he heard the door open and angry footfalls go marching down the hall. "We're really grateful, Mrs. Mustang, for everything he has taught us. We really are. Brother just…he doesn't really express himself well. He wanted to learn everything and instead of saying that he walks up and demands things."

Roy walked into the kitchen and gave his wife an apologetic look. "I'll go get her settled back down."

She watched Ed sulk in, then take a seat at the table as Roy darted back down the hall to go tend to his little girl. Riza knew better than to offer him milk, but she hated to give the kid coffee. They didn't have a lot of money for food and supplies and these two ate so much it was like they were hosting a colony of tapeworms inside them. She knew he hated the sulfur taste of the well water so about all she could do was ask him what caffeinated beverage he wanted. "Tea or Coffee, Ed?"

"Can you talk to him?" Ed asked. "Talk some sense into him? It's a compliment that I want to learn how to use fire like he does."

"It's an accident waiting to happen." Al snorted. "With your short temper? You'd set the country on fire!"

"Shut up Al."

"No, brother. You are being unreasonable." Al said and watched Riza put the teapot on to boil some water.

"My father didn't want to teach Roy, Flame Alchemy either." Riza sat down at the table as she heard the baby's crying stop. "He stayed here for years, gave up his career to stay here and learn. Until he felt Roy was mature enough to carry such a burden, my father refused to teach him."

"I thought he stayed because you guys got married." Al said. He really liked being a part of a happy, and complete household again. He liked the warmth of a happy couple, a doting Mom and a dedicated father surrounding them. Even if they weren't his family, it made him happy to be here.

"He didn't leave for the academy and things…eventually developed." Riza didn't really want to have to explain things to a pair of kids. She was pretty happy her own daughter wasn't going to be asking questions like this for several years, but she could see from the boy's eyes that they were now intrigued by the Mustang Family history. She was only twenty! She shouldn't have to talk about these kinds of things with a nine year old!

Ed was about to ask if that meant her father wanted Roy to stay to marry her or what, but Riza got up to make him tea. "So what job is better than being an alchemist!?"

Riza took a teacup out of the cupboard and looked at the chip in the cup. It used to be her mother's set and through the years the dishes and cups had broken or been chipped so many times the cups were getting thin from the alchemic repairs. Each chip or crack caused a loss of material that couldn't be added back in when it was repaired. What she had now was an odd array of sizes and weighted china. They didn't have the money then, and they didn't have any now. "He was going to join the military."

Al looked at the newspaper from the weekend with highlights from the war. "I bet you're glad he changed his mind! He could be in Ishval right now!"

Ed didn't understand why he would want to be a dog of the state. "Why would he do that? He studied to be an alchemist. Why would he go be a soldier?"

"In case you didn't notice," Roy's voice chimed in from the doorway as he came down cradling his tiny daughter. "Alchemy doesn't exactly pay the bills. Sadly you two are the first people who actually paid us in cash, everyone else barters. I wanted a good job with decent pay to be able to provide for my family."

Riza watched his eyes look up to her and she silently expressed that she wasn't in the least bit disappointed in this life. She wasn't, but he was the one who settled for this lifestyle. The city boy longed to return to the comforts he grew up with.

Roy sat down and looked at his baby. He didn't want her to grow up like Riza did, running around in threadbare clothes and learning to live off the land. "I was going to go to the academy and after graduation come back to see if Master Hawkeye would finish teaching me and also ask Riza to marry me. I wanted to give her a better life than this, but I convinced myself then that I could somehow made a living helping people with my skills. Sadly, that hasn't been the case. "

Riza frowned. She knew what he wasn't saying, she knew he was considering accepting an invitation to take the state alchemy exam and be commissioned by the State. He was in town a month ago helping with a burning barn when a State Alchemist found him. A man who was sent to try and recruit him for the war effort, with patriotic words trying to entice him to help end the war quicker. That his country needed him. Roy came home deep in thought, knowing full well that a position like that would enable them to live a better life and maybe move to Central where his Mother was.

"Anyhow, I think you have a natural talent for Earth based alchemy and should keep going with that. It opens up a lot more doors for you than focusing on mine." Roy said and watched Ed's face face turn dark. "I'm not trying to father you kid, I'm telling you this as your teacher. You pay me to teach you and I'm trying to tell you where you'll get the most for your money."

* * *

><p><em>January 1909 <em>

"The war, should be over in a few months."

Riza bit her lip as she tried not to cry on the train platform. Her husband stood before her in a crisp new uniform, a freshly commissioned Major and the State's newest alchemist. She held their daughter in her arms as he held them both and caressed her belly where their second child grew. She was afraid to see him leave for the unknown, scared to be in Central by herself hoping he'd be back by the time she was ready to give birth and upset that he felt he had to do this. He was tired of subjecting his family to that old house in winter and with another child counting on him, he had to find a better job. The Elrics left in December, their training complete, and he took his exam soon after. "Don't die."

Roy gasped. "That's a hell of a thing to say."

"You come back to me, you hear me?" Riza's hand grasped his lapel and tears began streaking down her face. They had been inseparable for the last few years and now he was going into a war zone without her. "You're going where I can't follow and that is killing me."

"I have a protective detail." He tried to assure her. "This Captain Hughes is going to meet me as soon as I get off the train and personally drive me to the front."

"They've been saying the war will be over soon…for seven years. Roy…"

"Maybe it's time I help bring it to a close so no more people have to die." He said and heard the whistle on the train again. It was second call and any more hesitating would ensure he missed his train. He doubted the military would look highly upon him being late for his first day to work. "Like your father said, Flame Alchemy is the perfect weapon. Maybe I should use it to help bring this damned war to a close."

Riza felt him step back and pick up his bag. Then a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I love you. I'll see you soon."

* * *

><p><em>August 1910<em>

Al was frozen in place as the door to the house opened and their teacher marched in. Fury on his face, Granny Pinako hollering that the military had no right to barge into their home and finally Ed's weak and maimed body being lifted from his wheelchair by Master Mustang.

"You idiot!" Roy screamed at Ed as he flinched and turned away from him. "You damned fool! You promised me you wouldn't try human transmutation. You promised me!"

Ed couldn't pull back, he was airborne and held by his shirt in the air as Mustang growled at him.

"You idiot!" Roy screamed and shook with rage.

"Master Mustang, please!" Al stepped forward and watched Roy's anger fade away, to be replaced by shock. "Please, we already know we made a mistake."

Roy looked up at the suit of armor, that voice unmistakable. "Al?"

"Sir, we already paid for our mistake." Al heard a little shriek and looked to the doorway. There a young girl clutched her mother's skirt and hand, hiding behind her Mom from the metal monster towering over her father. He saw the shock on Riza's face as she held a young boy in her arm. "We didn't listen."

Ed felt himself set down and managed to look past the blue blur of Mustang to the doorway where the Mustang family stared at him like he was a horrible freak of nature. "I should have listened, but I thought I knew better. I thought I could make things right again. We just wanted to see Mom again…"

Roy knelt down in front of him, his features finally softening for the young apprentice who he let down. He should have known Ed was going to try something, the cocky little shit, instead he rushed away to war and forgot to check in with the kid. If only he had kept in touch. If only he had shown up a month earlier, he would have been here for the kids when they needed a mentor most. He let his own head fall and looked down at his chest, brass buttons glistening on his blue uniform. "I made a mistake too and a lot of innocent people paid the price for my naivety."

Riza moved forward and put her arm around Al, she could hear the hollow voice echoing from within the shell of the armor and knew enough about alchemy to know he wasn't playing dress up. Al, who just soaked up love and affection like a sponge was suddenly in a cold, empty suit of armor.

"I can't feel." Al said, a sob choking out from the metal as the little girl peaked out from behind her Mom at him.

"Yes you can." Riza said. "Maybe not physically, but you can still feel how much we both missed you two. WE still care very much about you two."

Ed felt her hand on his and he grasped it, tears welling in his eyes. "We're so sorry."

Roy felt his daughter's hand on his and she clutched it with her own. Scared of these two strange men. His son slept away, head still on his mother's shoulder where he fell asleep hours ago. "We can be sorry for the rest of eternity and it won't fix anything. So, let's talk about how we're going to get your bodies back."

_xxxxxxxxxxx_


	9. Blind Date

_AN: _For an Anon request on Tumblr: If Riza didn't join the military.

* * *

><p><em>Royai Collection<em>

Chapter 9

**Blind Date**

* * *

><p>"You're going." Roy Mustang's voice was cold and emotionless and dared his subordinate to defy him.<p>

Jean Havoc leaned over the desk and whispered, "It's a _girl_ Armstrong. Holy hell Roy, what the did I ever do to you?"

Roy leaned in closer and smirked. "You hit it off with Olivier just fine. I'm sure you'll have no problems with Catherine."

"Hit it off?" Havoc sunk to his knees in front of his superior's desk. "I got this chill down my spine every time she looked at me. I like a woman who can take control in the bedroom, but not like that. God Roy, you try and perform under those kinds of conditions! Those blue eyes staring at you like a hungry wolf, cute little lips that hide the fangs behind them ready to rip you apart for the slightest mistake."

Roy grinned and gave him one of those cocky smiles he reserved for just telling Havoc he dated one of his now ex-girlfriends. "It's not uncharted territory Jean, I've been there and survived. She does bite, and hard, but you just got to be willing to try new things."

"You bastard." Havoc hissed. "Seriously? General Armstrong?"

"The key is to not show fear and take charge." Roy sat back in his chair, "However Catherine is a little young for me so I guess you finally don't have competition. Make a good impression Lieutenant."

Havoc stared at him. He was trying to get his mind around a Mustang/Armstrong encounter and every situation he dreamed up, Roy was the one crying on the floor searching for his clothes as Olivier smoked and laughed in bed.

"I'll drop you off at the Armstrong estate so you don't forget your date." Mustang grinned. He had no idea why torturing Havoc was so much fun. He was probably going to be the main reason he smoked himself to death by 40. "I'll even pick up flowers for you to give to her to make a good impression."

"Thanks Boss."

"Someone has to help you with your miserable love life." Roy stood and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. It was time for his meeting with Grumman. "Otherwise you'll probably die alone."

* * *

><p>"How about we make a friendly wager?"<p>

Roy didn't move his eyes from the chessboard. Grumman was not above moving pieces when he wasn't looking. "On our game, sir? The one already in progress?"

"Yes." Grumman wiggled his mustache and grinned.

"What would you like to wager?"

"How about you finally take my granddaughter out on a date?" Grumman said and moved his rook.

"This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that our Lt. Havoc is going to dinner at the Armstrong's, does it?" Roy asked and moved a pawn.

"You know damn well he's dating Lt. Catalina, and now she's ready to discharge a rocket launcher at your head." Grumman made a show of thinking about his next move. "So, in order to take care of my own staff, I agreed to help you with your dating life."

"I thought you liked your granddaughter?" Roy crossed his arms and waited. It was weird having Grumman constantly talk about setting him up with this girl he never met. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or worried.

"I think you overestimate your charm."

"Ha!" Roy figured he's turn the tables on the old man and do the unexpected. "Why make it a wager? I'll just accept your kind offer and take the lovely lady out for dinner."

"Oh no." Grumman made his move. "I want to make sure you behave yourself. A man with your reputation….is not going to be left without a chaperon with my only grandchild!"

"So you had a specific event in mind?" Roy moved his knight and watched the old man sweep it off the board as he made a swift move.

"Military ball." Grumman said and grinned as he moved his queen. "Checkmate."

"Hmmm." Roy cocked an eyebrow. "So, I expect that you will be escorting the lady in question and I'm going to be her entertainment while you mingle?"

"Yes. You don't mind coming alone?" Grumman said innocently. "I know the rumors will fly, but a man as confident as you should have no problems showing up without a lady on your arm."

"Also prevents me from socializing and trying to secure myself a move to Central." Roy countered.

"That too." Grumman checked. "I hate training new subordinates!"

"I would be honored, sir." Roy gave him a polite smile, one that didn't scream 'you crafty geriatric bastard'.

* * *

><p>"I hear my baby sister sent your male secretary running for the hills in the first five minutes." Olivier Armstrong walked up with a champagne glass in her hand and waited for a response.<p>

Roy shrugged. "Havoc's just smitten with you Oliver. He likes _older_ women."

Olivier snorted. "Is that why you're here alone?"

"Are you offering?" Roy smirked back and she laughed and walked away. He frowned, not quite upset at her rejection as he was pretty sure he still sported scars from the last time she granted him the privilege of trying to best her on the battlefield know as her bedroom.

He looked around and took out his pocket watch to verify the time. Grumman was taking his time getting to his reserved table, he could hear the man's unmistakable laughter in the opposite corner of the room. Of course the good General was taking advantage of having a young lady on his arm and making the rounds, so Roy had yet to even lay an eye on the girl he was going to be babysitting today. Then again, Grumman was probably four years older then God so there was a possibility his granddaughter would be old enough to babysit him. Either way, the old man was clearly in charge of this board and was limiting his moves. He didn't know if it was because he selfishly didn't want to let go of the subordinate who was doing his best to secure promotion and ergo overachieving in his current job, or that he was genuinely trying to hold him back because he felt he was too young for Central. Whatever his reasoning, he was annoyed because the orchestra was playing one of his favorites and he was dying to dance. Just not willing to die for a dance and ask Olivier if she wanted to cause a commotion.

"Lieutenant Colonel Mustang…"

Roy heard the old man's voice and turned, making sure his posture was parade ground perfect and his most warm and welcoming smile graced his face before he locked eyes with his date. Instead of looking like a handsome hero in blue, he must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he looked at a face out of his past.

Grumman wanted to burst out laughing as Mustang's jaw almost hit the ground. That should show the cocky kid he didn't see everything coming. "I'd like to introduce to you my granddaughter, Miss Riza Hawkeye."

Roy saw a blush color Riza's cheeks as she looked at the man she hadn't seen since her father's funeral. The man who was too ashamed to look her in the eye after Ishval, after he promised that she could trust him with her father's secrets. How many times he wanted to call her, visit her hometown on furlough or just write a simple letter…but convinced himself she didn't deserve to know what kind of a disappointment he had turned out to be. She looked amazing, her blue sequined dress hugged her every curve and his heart thumped and reminded him that they weren't kids anymore. Her short hair framed her big, beautiful eyes and the tinge of pink on her cheeks. She was stunning.

"Mister Mustang." Riza said politely and bit her lip as he stood frozen a few feet from her. She wanted to dig her nails into her grandfather's hand for setting up this blind date, for making her think she was going to be spending some time with some braggart officer who needed to be kept in check for fear of embarrassing his boss. Well things had changed a lot, Roy had definitely grown up, so who was she to judge from just his looks what kind of person he was now. However the fact remained that Grandfather _knew_ about them and deliberately kept them both in the dark. She'd take it up with him later as right now, she couldn't peel her eyes away from Roy.

"Miss Hawkeye." Roy finally found his tongue and watched Grumman fade into the crowd in his peripherals, his focus entirely on the golden hair beauty before him. "May I have this dance?"


	10. Slippery When Wet

AN: Warning! This is lemony. LOOK AWAY from the fic if your eyes are too young and innocent for two adults in the shower. And yes, I do watch Archer. ;)

* * *

><p><em>Royai Collection<em>

Chapter 9

**Slippery When Wet**

_aka that Time Roy went down on Riza in the Shower_

* * *

><p>Riza let the warm water beat down on her back after she finished rinsing off her hair. She took a sniff of her hair and wondered if it would be obvious that she was using Roy's conditioner. His hair never really had a fragrance so she hoped it wouldn't be a give away that she spent the night with him. It was the little things that help them from being caught and she was a little annoyed that he didn't replenish her conditioner when he went shopping. It was good he had such a prestigious position and paycheck, this damned conditioner he used cost five times what it should. Then again, his hair was nothing short of perfection.<p>

She heard the door to the bathroom creak open and groaned. "Roy, we've already talked about how showering together doesn't work. You just grope and fondle me and it's impossible to get clean together in here."

Roy peaked around the shower curtain and smiled. "I wasn't going to suggest we get clean. I have nothing but dirty thoughts."

She couldn't even open her mouth in time to say 'No', as he was already in the shower with her and kissing her neck. "Why are you so determined to prove sex in the shower is a viable option?"

Roy ran his hands over her hips and squeezed her butt cheeks, still slick with conditioner runoff from her hair. "I already proved multiple orgasms were a very viable option and you once told me that was pure fiction."

She looked at that grin, that playful smile, and realized that rational thinking just wasn't in his head right now. All he was thinking about was that doujinshi he was looking at the other day. "The next time you're ordered to burn confiscated materials of the pornographic variety, you better not read them first."

He smiled and kissed her nose and then her lips. "I put those non-slip things on the shower floor."

"Which is why you forgot to buy my conditioner."

"Style or Safety? Which one do you want me to prioritize?" He bent down to nibble on her ear, getting the shower spray in the face to drown out her reply.

"It's still not going to work." She jabbed her thumb into his rib cage to get his attention. "Roy, this is just stupid. One of us is going to end up hurt and I am not going to get turned on because I'll be thinking of all the ways you're going to end up injured in this process."

He slid around her and let the water hit his back instead of hers. Then his hands rolled over her breasts and squeezed, thumbs delicately stroking her nipples and he rubbed his erection against her already slippery ass cheek. "Just because I'm wet doesn't make me useless."

She gasped as his right hand quickly rolled over her abdomen and slipped between her legs. "Roy, you're going to get hurt."

"I've been practicing." He mumbled into her ear. "I know exactly how to position you for maximum stability. If your back is against the wall, one leg wrapped around me and one on the floor, I can put both hands on the wall and use these no-slip dolphin things under my feet to thrust against. I got this."

"That's not going to…" She felt her body tremble as his damned talented fingers slipped inside of her, his thumb rolling gently over her clit and his damned voice doing the rest of the work. His fucking voice. Roy could read the regulation manual to her in that tone and she would be uncomfortably wet in less than five minutes. Damn him. His fingers were removed and he drug them back up her folds, making her more than aware of how aroused she was by his attempt at the impossible. Shower sex. It was like playing twister on a vertical surface while standing on ice. Even once you found a position that didn't endanger your life, it wasn't the right combination to get a penis anywhere near the desired opening. _Shower sex._

"Not going to what?" He asked, voice drenched with amusement and arousal. He was practically purring in her ear as her body reacted to every move of his hand.

"Why isn't this good enough?" She asked and his finger slipped inside of her again, this time meeting no resistance as he had thoroughly worked her up.

He bit his lip as he almost said, 'Well this isn't a challenge' but thought better of it immediately. "I want this, pretty bad."

"Reality is nowhere near porn." She squeaked and he took his hand away. He relocated both hands to her hips and turned her to face him. "This is just dangerous."

"Riza…" He whispered and pushed her up against the shower wall. "Welcome to the _dangerzone_."

She should have just ended it there, that should have been enough to turn her off and get her out of the shower. She could just throw him a bottle of lotion and tell him to take care of it himself, but no. She loved this dork and all the stupid fire puns and inappropriate comments that he made. So when he put his hands on the wall beside her and positioned himself just as he had 'practiced' she smiled back at that triumphant grin and let him give her a kiss.

"See, I'll just have to squat a little and you'll be able to just sit down on me and I can…" He tried to situate himself as he had planned but having another body in the shower was showing him that his battle plan wasn't going to work. As always, it was hard to get a feel for the situation until you were on the field. Shit! If he showed weakness now she'd be out of the shower in an instant. She he took his hands off the wall and put them on her hips, under the guise of trying to re-position her, and he moved his foot forward further. Then he forgot that the slip-free dolphins weren't everywhere on the floor. The ones that he 'porpoise-fully positioned' for his prior plan, no longer under his bare feet. There _was_ something between him and the tile though, his conditioner. That marvel of modern hair care products that helped him maintain his fucking fabulous hair now coated his floor and foot, as well as his hand and Riza's hip. That wonderful product that had to be made partially out of Teflon and magic harvested from the souls of unicorns finally let him down.

Riza watched the disaster from the safety of the dolphin applique. Roy's foot went up first, his weight being oddly distributed didn't help matters any. Then his hand slipped right off her hip like it was painted with silicon. What happened next was a tangled mess of limbs and naked Roy hitting the ledge of the shower stall with his head first. Somehow she managed to stay standing as crumbled onto the shower floor and she watched him sit up and blood start gushing from a wound on his forehead. Blood, poured off him and started circling the drain like some epic scene out of a horror film.

"And now you go to the hospital for stitches." Riza shook her head and leaned over him to turn off the shower. "Why do you never listen to me?"

"I was listening to your body, and it said…'Yes Roy, take me against the shower wall like you've been day dreaming about doing for the last week.'" he flinched as she pushed back his sopping wet hair and looked at the injury.

"You need to start thinking with the right head."

"They both are throbbing right now." He whined and sat up. "Fuck. Does it really need stitches?"

"Yes." She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. "So come up with a story on how this happened or I'm telling the ER doctor you went down on me in the shower."

He looked up at her with his apologetic puppy dog eyes as she threw a towel at him. "Well…I might have gone down…but that's…not really a funny play on words considering the circumstances."

"I told you this was going to happen." She grunted and left the bathroom to go get dressed.

"Riza?" Roy looked at the towel covered in blood. "They have those old people shower seats in the hospital showers. I bet I can make that work."

"No!" She hollered. "Get dressed or I'm calling your mother and telling her to take you to the hospital!"

"Well, no reason to do that." He crawled out of the shower and over to the vanity, then stood up and looked at his head. Shit! That was going to leave a scar. "I don't need a lecture on sex positions, I already have a headache."

"What does the sign say in the bathroom at Christmas's?"

"All employees must hands before going back to work?" He patted off his head and stuck a band-aid over the gash to try and keep the skin together and stop the flow of blood so he could get dressed without looking like he just participated in a massacre.

"No!" She came back to the bathroom, dressed and toweling off her hair. "No sex in the shower! It even has one of those OSHA safety drawings to illustrate exactly what just happened. You grew up there Roy, you looked at that little stick figure man bent in half with his neck snapped every damned day. So why did I just have to look at that mess in your own shower?"

"Because it was hot." He mumbled. "Sorry Riza."

"Honey, how many times do I have to tell you duct tape is not a band-aid? She slapped him on the ass and said, "Sit down on the toilet and I'll wrap your stupid head so you don't drip blood all over your apartment."

"Sorry." He pouted and sat down. So much for shower sex. Ever again.


	11. 50 Shades of Roy

Submission for fma_fic_contest prompt #284: Catch in the Throat. Fleshed out a little.

* * *

><p><em>Royai Collection<em>

Chapter 11

**50 Shades of Roy**

* * *

><p>Roy swiveled back and forth in his chair as chewed on the pen cap in his mouth. He looked over at Hawkeye who was still diligently working on her paperwork and then shifted his glance up at the clock. His stomach growled it's protest as he realized it was now 2100. He crunched down on the pen cap out of frustration and the pen fell out of the housing and hit the floor. He quit swiveling and looked over at Hawkeye sheepishly before spitting the cap out. "I broke my pen, can't work anymore."<p>

Riza didn't look up at him, it would only allow her to see how much work he didn't do in the last four hours. "I'm going to use the restroom."

The Colonel frowned as she stood and ignored his attempt to dismiss them for the evening. He looked at the stacks of forms on his desk and wondered where the hell it all came from. He took the small stack of completed work and stood up, hoping that if he proved he had done _something_ he could earn a reprieve and finally go home. He walked over to her desk, put the stack neatly upon her blotter and then grabbed a new pen. Then he smiled and drew a cute little dog on her notepad in hopes of reminding her that her own puppy was in need of some outside time. He added a little pee puddle with the yellow highlighter just to drive home the point. Satisfied he turned and accidentally kicked over her bag.

He bent down to pick up what spilled out and noticed a romance novel on top. He always wondered what was in these things. Perhaps it would make the rest of the evening more interesting if he had something better to read other than requisition forms, furlough requests and damage claims. (Thanks Fullmetal). He went back over to his stack of work and sat down then opted to skip to the middle of the book assuming that's where all the raunchy sex scenes would be.

Riza returned and looked at the drawing on her notepad. "What's this supposed to be? A drowning muppet?"

He feigned hurt and looked at her over the tower of paper. "It's a puppy. Peeing."

She shook her head. "Rebecca is walking Hayate. Nice try."

Roy sank back down behind the paper wall and flipped a few pages before chuckling. He sat up straight and lifted the open book up to show her he had stolen her reading material. He raised it enough that he could still look over the top of the book but the rest of his face was hidden. Then he began to read. "Her nether regions quivered as his calloused hands cupped her delicate mounds."

Riza felt a blush tinge her cheeks and looked down at her bag. Oh no, he didn't...

"Her heart raced as he pulled her closer to his body and felt his manhood pressed against her hip." he snorted. "Manhood. God, who writes this? Toddlers?"

She looked over at him and those playful eyes watching her over the top of the book. His eyebrow gently raised and his dark hair framed the subtle tells of his mischief perfectly. She was glad he was covering his smirk behind that book, she doubted her ability to ignore him if she could see that. His voice was bad enough and there was a catch in her throat as she asked, "Branching out from alchemy books?"

"Curious as to why there are more of these printed annually than any other genre." He returned to words on the page and said. "His intentions were to deflower her, taking her most precious and delicate gift right there in the library...without even taking off his uniform."

Riza held her breath. Rebecca gave her that novel for a reason. She could still hear her laughing about it. Oh God, how the hell was she going to explain why she had that in her possession?

Roy he flipped the page and prepared to use one of his mock girl voices to read the next line. He kept his eyes on Riza and only glanced down to see the line and not comprehend it before he said it, "How dare you take liberties with me, Colonel Mustang..." He glanced down and read that again. "What? Why the hell am I in this!?"

""Sir, you're pretty popular with the ladies and...they all seem to want to take their turns riding Mustang."

"Someone wrote smut...about me!?" Roy suddenly sat bolt upright, his shock overriding his immaturity.

"A whole series." She informed him and waited for the inevitable. "50 Shades of Roy."

"And you're reading it!?"

"Rebecca thought it was funny so she..."

"She read this!? She's dating Havoc!" He stood up and narrowed his eyes at her. "_You're _reading this?"

"Technically, you're reading it to me." Riza replied.

"If I was going to read you something sexual, it wouldn't be from _this_ book."

She replied so quickly she surprised herself. "And what book would you be reading from?"

"Art of the Bedchamber." He smirked and watched her cheeks flush before he realized he was having this conversation with his Lieutenant and not some girl at a bar.

She was used to covering his ass for him so as soon as she saw him realize how bad the conversation was going she felt obligated to try and give him a way out. "Isn't that the one with the bad translations? "

"It's better in Xingese." He smiled. "However even with the bad translations I think "kitten" is better than "nether regions" any day."

"Maybe we should just call it a night. Apparently I'm tired enough that I'm allowing you to lure me into lewd conversations."

"What exactly is a woman like you doing spending her spare time reading this crap for? You should have men lined up at your door begging to spend time with you, yet you're reading this garbage?" Roy slapped the book shut.

"I believe the last man that told me I was attractive was Barry the Chopper." She said and stood up to gather her things. Then bent down to pick up her bag before going over to take her book back. "And he's more obsessed with finding his own body than mine."

"A criminal..." He muttered and shook his head as she held her hand out for the book. "What's criminal is that you have to hear that from some disembodied soul and spend your nights alone reading some trash like this."

He just had no idea what compliments like that did to her, how she could feel her heart swell thinking that they meant something. She looked down as he dropped her book in her bag and wrapped his hand around hers.

Then without any hesitation he pulled her over to him and just kissed her. No stupid lines, no apologies...he simply couldn't suppress his feelings anymore. He spent half his workday trying to concentrate while he thought about her. Let her shoot him, let her file a harassment claim (Form 315C), he didn't care. Right at this moment, the biggest problem in this world was that Riza Hawkeye thought that she was only attractive to some deranged sardine can serial killer and was having to read romance novels to keep her company. Out of the millions of scenarios that he daydreamed about, he never thought their moment would be this one. He didn't push the kiss too far, just long enough to show her the emotions that fueled it and assure her that this wasn't just some act without backing.

She felt shell shocked. His kiss, his touch, his words all combined to just freeze her in this moment. It lasted briefly as she realized that she had to do something other than stand there enjoying his scent. "The book says you taste angelic...I didn't realize Jack Daniels was an angel."

So this was their moment, the moment that all that tension finally came to something and she was playfully teasing him about it. Damn. Could she be any more perfect? Her hands were on his chest, ever so slightly rubbing him and poised to make the move to wrap one of her hands around his neck. He wanted to tell her it was fine, that he'd love to feel her touch him and take his breath away but he knew why she was frozen in place. She didn't want to torture herself with the promise of something more, anymore than he did. So they stood here, embracing, trying to make this moment last as long as it could because there was nothing but uncertainly in the moment after. He cleared his throat and whispered, "Well you know that old nursery rhyme? Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice? Well angels are made of corn, water and yeast. They leave it out of the rhyme because it didn't translate well and they don't want to give any alchemists a list of ingredients for angels."

"Apparently you're not the smooth talking heartthrob these books make you out to be." She said and tried to calm down her heart rate. She looked into his eyes and soft, a pleading expression on his face and realized he was letting her make the next move. That she could move her chess piece closer to him or remain distant. That this moment would be either the start of something for them or a promise of something to come later. How much later? Could they really go one for years like they had been, with just the memory of this moment to keep them going? It's why she couldn't do more than half-heartedly joke about this, she was terrified of the ramifications of her decision. Either one. So here they stood in the moment that would define them from here on out. "But I like this version of you better."

He pulled her back to kiss her again since it didn't end with him being beaten, shot, slapped or spanked. Though he technically wouldn't mind the last one. "I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I've been wanting to do that for a very long time. Will you have dinner with me?"

"We can't..."

"Why the hell not? Right now I can't keep my mind off you anyway, what's it going to hurt if we make something of this?" He leaned in closer to her ear and whispered, "It's the book of the month and we're discussing it. Let's discuss it over dinner."

"Will it be warm and moist?" She asked and held her breath to stop from laughing.

Roy bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face, "I thought you said you didn't read these things?"

"I've read cookbooks." She let a smile creep to her lips and he bent down to kiss her again.

"Are we dismissed for the evening, Lieutenant?" He asked as he placed his forehead against hers. "I'd hate to make you late for your date tonight."


	12. They're Coming

_RoyAi Collection_

Chapter 12

**They're Coming**

* * *

><p>The screams echoes through the house, a high pitched wail that still managed to vibrate his eardrums as he lay there wondering how everything went so damned wrong. At what point in his life did Roy Mustang forget that he never fully comprehended the consequences of his decisions? Why the hell was he so flippant when it came to life altering choices? He moaned as he heard another shriek from and the thunderous crash that signified they were coming for him.<p>

Why the hell did they have kids?

It was something he found himself asking every Saturday morning when he discovered that small children woke in the ungodly hours of the pre-dawn morning to demand attention, food and entertainment. He looked at the clock, 4:35 am. Then the screams became cries. Not just crying, no, it was something only his daughter managed to produce from her tiny little lungs. Something between an air raid siren and a wail of a tortured soul from the deepest pit of hell.

Why the hell did they have kids?

His son was stomping up the stairs in an effort to wake him, even though the brat would deny it. How could something so small produce so much force? He pulled the pillow over his head and ignored it. He just wanted some damned sleep! He wanted to sleep in, he wanted to wake up next to his wife again and spend the morning tracing her body with his fingers in an attempt to convince her that morning sex was better than breakfast. He wanted to _wake up_. Not just be jarred out of his sleep by an alarm, an irritated secretary or a screaming child, he wanted to remember what it was like to wake up after too much sleep and not give a damn it if was almost noon.

"Riza, why did we have kids?"

Riza snorted and kept her eyes shut. It was funny that the one thing Roy would complain about was the fact that their kids woke them up. Not that they set the backyard on fire. Not the fact that unorganized his library and colored in the transmutation circles in his alchemy texts. Nothing upset him about their kids except that he could never sleep in. That was it. However he made it seem like the most horrible offense known to mankind, every damned Saturday. It was a game now, to see who flinched first. Who would grudgingly give in to the annoyances and possibly panic as their beloved children woke them for the day. "I'm not getting up."

"Well neither am I." Roy whispered back.

"_Your _son is probably getting ready to start a house fire."

"Well Elizabeth already woke the dead with her screaming. At least the zombies will walk right past the burning house and we can just die in peace." Roy pulled the pillow against his head harder. "Why are they always MY kids?"

She could make out his mumbles through the pillow. Years of being by Roy's side made her fluent in his incoherent mumbles. "Well their destructive capabilities alone rule out all the other perspective fathers."

The pillow flew to the floor. "Riza, that is never funny."

"It never ceases to stop your whining." She nuzzled her head back into her pillow.

Then the door opened and creaked loudly. Roy clamped his eyes shut, hoping that the child wouldn't smell his lack of desire to be a responsible adult right now. However what children preyed upon was exhaustion. They had a six sense that could smell fear of adults who weren't parents and also parents who didn't feel like being adults. Right now Roy was scared his precious sleep would finally be wrestled away from him and he wouldn't see it again until Monday when he snuggled up with his desk and passed out.

"Daddy?"

They only ever wanted him on the weekends. They couldn't even rattle off the days of the week with any level of consistency but they knew when it was the weekend. Maybe if he didn't answer, he'd go away. It was always his first instinct, that hope that he could just get a few more minutes...

"Daddy, I made fire."

_Shit! _Two things in his life that could make him wake up like this. The dog puking and his frickin son telling him he lit something on fire! He eyes were immediately open and he was instantly awake as he looked at the figure in the darkness right in front of his face. "You what?"

"I can't control it."

So the sheets were thrown off and his bare feet hit the rug. His hand pulling his wandering pajama pants up over his hip as he trudged out of the bedroom and into the house. His little raven haired son paddling behind him as he shielded his eyes from the light of the hallway. They couldn't reach the sink to brush their teeth but somehow they could reach every damned light switch in the house! They'd turn every one on too, the Mustang household was probably a beacon for space travelers just like the North Star was for them. He never understood how the Elrics could perform human transmutation at such a young age, then he had kids of his own and understood. Oh God, he understood that there was a whole universe of destruction available to someone so young and apparently...right here and now that place was his kitchen.

"I made it with grease."

It was the voice of innocence from behind him that just mocked him as he stood there amazed. There was a point when you just stopped being surprised and he was long past that stage. There was a frying pan, a frying pan he neglected to clean yesterday after he made breakfast, in the middle of his kitchen on fire. _How the hell did he reach the stove!? "_Maes, I told you that you needed to learn alchemy from a teacher didn't I? You can't just experiment, it's dangerous."

Maes Mustang looked at the fire in the kitchen and shrugged. He played his get our of jail free card, "I just want to be like you Dad."

Roy found a lid and dropped it onto the frying pan, the smell of burning bacon now permeating the room. He glanced over at the dewy eyes of the child and could just hear his namesake laughing in the afterlife. Either because Elicia was an angel or Maes neglected to mention all the diapers, puking, mayhem and lack of sleep when he fussed over parenthood. _And I named my kid after you, you lying bastard! "_Which is why I told you when you were old enough I'd send you to apprentice with Uncle Ed."

"I don't want to wait." Maes pouted. "And you told me you won't teach me flame alchemy so I have to learn it on my own."

The logic patterns of these kids also seemed like evasive maneuvers. He picked up the boy and remembered Elizabeth was still screaming upstairs. He carried the boy up stairs to the den of deafening screams. "Stop setting thing on fire. That's not flame alchemy, it's arson."

"Argon is a noble gas."

Roy glanced at the boy, the power of redirection was strong in this one. "Don't change the subject. You know I said arson."

"It's really no wonder that we wake up to disasters like this when you're discussing felonies before 5 am." Riza chided as she held her screaming daughter in her arms at the top of the stairs. She shook her head and walked back to the bedroom, Elizabeth's cries were waning and turning into sniffles and pitiful teary eyes.

"It's a crime to wake your parents at this time of the morning." Roy said and Maes said nothing as they went back into their bedroom. He tossed the boy into the middle of the bed and tried to ignore the kid's smile denoting this was his plan all along. Hayate finally got up and stretched, then joined his family on the bed. Elizabeth was already asleep by the time her head hit the pillow and both parents crawled back into bed ignoring the agreement they had made last weekend about taking a stand on this matter. Who gave a damn if the kids crawled into your bed when it wasn't even 5am? He didn't, not right now, and frankly it seemed like a stupid thing to care about.

"Why does it smell like bacon?" Riza asked as Maes crawled up next to his sister and pulled the blankets away from his Dad.

"You don't want to know." Roy threw the blanket over the two kids and dog as he got up to grab his pillow and returned to the bed to get comfortable. He readjusted and tried to cover himself back up but found the blankets too short and it barely covered his shoulder. So he got back up, and grabbed a hold of the sheets and blankets and prepared to pull. "Wonder how so many blankets got over on your side, Riza...darling?"

She chuckled and let him pull everything over his way, Hayate curled on the mass of moving bedding didn't move an inch. Now he was right where Roy's feet would go and she knew he wouldn't disturb the dog. "Go back to sleep, do you have any idea what time it is?"

He crawled back into bed and slung an arm over his family and closed his eyes. "Shhh...woman I'm trying to sleep."


	13. Misfire

AN: For a Tumblr request: Riza doesn't join the military but still saves Roy during the battle with Scar.

What happens in the car is just purely me having fun with Team Mustang.

* * *

><p><em>RoyAi Collection<em>

Chapter 13

**Misfire**

* * *

><p>Breda narrowly avoided another collision with a oncoming car and silently Fuery and Havoc thanked God that they didn't let Mustang get behind the wheel. Havoc ground the end of the unlit cigarette between his teeth, happy to lose some precious tobacco instead of enamel. His dentist was none too understanding when he explained that his boss's driving and dating habits were the root of his teeth grinding problem. So, his solution had been to just grind cigarettes to a pulp instead, as Mustang got pissed about him smoking so much.<p>

So the First Lieutenant glanced over at his superior who was staring out the window, his clenched jaw resting on his fist as his elbow perched steadily on the door. He knew Roy probably got the same lectures from his dentist, though he probably knew some mystical alchemy that would replace all the enamel he lost because of the Elric brothers.

Sargent Kain Fuery shrieked again and clutched his backpack of radio equipment to his chest as he slammed his eyelids shut. Breda had been driving on the wrong side of the road for at least six blocks in order to avoid traffic during rush hour and get to the other side of the city. News had come in fifteen minutes earlier of a sighting of Scar, quickly followed by a report of a Knight in shining armor and his dwarf sage engaging him in battle. Hughes and Armstrong were already on their way, the Elrics presumable still fighting Scar on their own. So they were driving fast, faster than any sane person would, in order to assist the young alchemists. As oncoming cars honked and the red haired Lieutenant gave them the finger, he press down the accelerator as he did so. Fuery was quite sure he was going to die.

"Can't you go any faster, Breda?"

Heymans didn't bother shifting his eyes away from the road to look in the rear view mirror. He could hear Havoc spit out some tobacco in response to Mustang's ever so casual instructions to go even faster. Fuery started to mutter some prayers and he clenched the steering wheel as he replied, "Colonel, you're not going to do the Elrics any good if I kill you before Scar has the chance."

Havoc watched Mustang's eyes leave the window for a moment as he mulled over that comment. How the man could even be looking out the window without getting car sick was a feat in itself, they were whizzing by cars so fast it was just a blur of color and honking.

"What makes you think I'm going to lose to _him_, Lieutenant?" Mustang asked and Breda actually laughed.

"That's right! If your alchemy doesn't work we can always let you get behind the wheel of the car." Breda shot back.

Havoc smiled and turned quickly as Mustang shot him an angry look. "Better get on the radio, Fuery, and request an evacuation of the Market District if the Colonel's going to drive."

Mustang saw Fuery reach for the radio and snapped. "He wasn't serious Sargent."

"Like hell we weren't." Breda let off the gas momentarily as the light changed and laid on the horn as he ran the red light.

Mustang sat back into his seat and rolled his eyes. "I passed my drivers test thank you very much."

"You had sex with the instructor in the back seat while I drove the car." Havoc griped. "I accidentally caught a glimpse of your ass while I was trying to parallel park. Shit Roy, if I wasn't afraid of dying while you drove 10 miles per hour on a mock course why the hell would I volunteer to do that?"

"I just figured you were getting tired of going home and masturbating after I stole your dates." Roy shrugged nonchalantly. "Needed a little more sensory stimulation to get you through it these days. I mean, God Jean, it's been _a while_ since you got a girl past the phone number stage."

"Only because some asshole keeps showing up and burning my phone number and handing out his business card." Havoc countered

"I let you watch." Roy shrugged. "Free of charge."

"I didn't watch!" Havoc spat tobacco bits across the car. "And you were going to charge me!?"

Breda sighed as they argued like teenagers in the back seat. He was going to have to tell Falman how lucky he was that he was on vacation. Fuery was still cowering in the passenger seat so he reached out and pet his head. "It's OK kiddo, just because Mommy and Daddy fight doesn't mean they don't love each other."

Fuery cringed as the cries of "WHAT!?" from the back seat threatened to burst his ear drums. It silenced as soon as Breda slammed on the brakes and both men flew into the seats in front of them.

"We're here." Breda said and looked at the small disaster area that signified that the Elrics were in the vicinity.

Roy jumped out of the car and his onyx eyes locked onto Maes Hughes immediately. Some days he hated his team. "Report, Hughes."

Hughes leaned around a truck and pointed in the direction of the most noise. "Elrics are banged up and out of commission. Armstrong is fighting him. Lots of bulging muscles and semi nude men down there. I'm not getting involved."

"It's not strip poker Maes." Roy growled and tugged on his gloves in anticipation of strutting into the intersection and saving the day. "It wouldn't kill you to lend the Major a hand."

Hughes shook his head. "Nope. I've got a family to think of. I'll let you be the hero, you need the help making yourself appealing enough to marry."

"Once again, it's not strip poker." Roy hissed and stormed off to the battle raging between the serial killer and the strong arm alchemist. A battle of brawn and bronzed skin. He was thinking so hard about his witty entrance that he didn't even notice it starting to drizzle.

Havoc finally lit his cigarette as he trotted up behind Mustang to remind him that the weather forecast wasn't in his favor, so less fireworks and more bullets would be in his best interest. However, Roy Mustang was in his element and wasn't going to hear his protests. Before Havoc could speak a word of caution, Roy was already throwing off his black trench coat like a matador.

Roy took one look at the broken Elrics and his anger took a hold of him. Scar threw Armstrong across the road and turned to him and they locked eyes. The Ishvalian took notice of his gloves and stole his thunder by calling out the first fighting words.

"Another State Alchemist." Scar hissed. "You're making this too easy for me to hunt you down."

"I won't be so easy tossed aside." Roy thought about going for his gun, but there was something satisfying about fighting with the alchemy the man detested so much.

"We'll see..."

It was at this point that Breda noticed the arrival of their commanding General, Grumman. Grumman was known for being eccentric, but bringing his much much_ much _younger date to the back alley alchemist battle seemed like a little too weird. Then again, it was probably cheaper than front row tickets to an actual fight and the blond was clearly pretty into the match-up. In fact, she even brought her own gun.

Edward Elric watched from the sidelines, his automail destroyed once again and unable to do anything but sulk on the grungy sidewalk. He wanted to call out, tell the Colonel that Scar was quicker than he looked and had some destructive power at this fingertips that he couldn't even begin to explain. He wanted to, but everything happened so fast that the words never left his mouth. What did happen, however, is a story he would tell to his dying day.

Roy held out his hand to snap, paused momentarily to flash a cocky smirk, and then waited for Scar to get close enough so that he wouldn't endanger anyone else with the impressive display of flame alchemy. This would be a moment that he would reenact for his future children when he put them to bed at night. Their little eyes tearing up with pride and awe as their amazing Fuhrer Flame Alchemist father stopped a serial killer's rampage with _just the snap_ of his fingers. _Just...like...this._

The snap came and nothing happened. Just a little puff of smoke as the transmutation failed due to precipitation and a 'mostly cloudy' forecast. Roy's eyes grew wide as he looked at the oncoming hand of his attacker, a glow of alchemic doom swiftly closing in on his head. Then he was quite literally swept off his feet by the most incredible woman he had ever laid eyes on.

Ed watched Mustang fall backwards with as little grace as humanly possible. His arms flew out to his side, his mouth was wide open and his eyes looked like they were about ready to pop out of his head. Then a woman in a long, high-backed black evening gown took center stage and leveled her gun at Scar. The Ishvalian dodged her first shot and pushed her arm away preventing her from firing again, but she lashed out with a long leg and nailed him in the elbow with the toe of her heels. The woman in the dress jumped back, knelt down on the splayed flap of the Colonel's pants and unloaded her gun at Scar. Ed didn't think Mustang's eyes could get wider but he proved him wrong as all he saw was the whites of his eyes. Then the Colonel almost unhinged and his jaw when the woman reached back, pulled his gun from his holster and emptied it at the Ishvalian as well.

Havoc let his cigarette fall from his lips as the blond haired beauty managed to not only save the Colonel's ass, but also wound Scar. Alex Armstrong stood up out of the rumble, flexing and sparkling, ready for action. It was then that the Alchemist serial killer darted down a small alley and climbed a fire escape to evade capture. The soldiers opened fire and the last they saw of him was a flutter of cloth as he jumped onto the roof.

Roy didn't remember the last time he actually blinked, as he just couldn't pull his eyes away from her. The glorious heels. The way her shapely and smooth leg with the thigh holster was exposed thanks to the slit in the shimmering evening gown. _Oh, thigh holsters really were his weakness._ The way the silk clung to the curve of her ass and how her long blond hair fell over her back like a golden cascade of soft heaven. Her arms were muscular and her hands looked as comfortable holding his Colt 1911 as he suspected she would look holding a glass of fine wine. He couldn't blink, he didn't want to miss the mystery woman's face when she turned around. For the moment, he didn't even realize he was laying in a damned puddle nor that the rain was increasing in intensity and plastering his fine black hair to his head.

"Roy, you know water makes you impotent. What the hell were you thinking?"

Then he blinked. Then he blinked again. Then Havoc walked over with his umbrella and held it over his head.

"Aw Snap." Havoc said with a chuckle. "Looks like someone got burned. Just not by you , soggy match."

Roy was about to sock him with his a soggy fist and ask if that burned at all, but then she turned around. He looked up at a face out of his past and opened his mouth to say something but the voice he herd wasn't his own.

"Dibs."

It was Havoc! Roy turned to glare at him but the Lieutenant was already standing up and walking over to her. He sat up, appalled that Havoc would dare call "dibs" on Riza. Little Riza. Well not anymore. She was grown up and..._damn_.

"My lady, perhaps I can offer you an umbrella and escort you to your vehicle?" Havoc asked gallantly.

"Havoc!" Roy spat out incredulously. What the hell just happened?

Riza gave him a smile of thanks and as they walked over to Roy she bent down to hand him his gun back. "When was the last time you cleaned that Colonel? You know maintenance is very important. That slide is sticky."

Roy squeaked as she placed his gun in his open hand onto his soaking wet glove. Then she reached down between his spread legs and picked up her own empty firearm. If he had a weak heart, he would have died right there.

"You wouldn't want to have issues firing it when you need it, now would you?" She stood up and watched his eyes follow her hand as she pushed back her dress and returned her gun to it's holster.

"Riza?" Roy asked incredulously. Where the hell was the awkward blushing teenager he saw at Hawkeye's funeral?

"It's good to see you again Roy." She said honestly. Even though he was sitting on his ass in a dirty, oil coated puddle, with his empty firearm in his hand, soaked ignition gloves and a head of dripping wet hair stuck to his slack jawed face he still stirred feelings she had categorized as a stupid childhood crush. "Perhaps we can catch up later? My grandfather is waiting on me."

Grandfather? Roy couldn't do anything but turn around and watch as she walked away on Havoc's arm, the blond Lieutenant had a spring to his step now that he was next to such a beautiful and incredible woman. In fact, as she walked back to her car the sea of blue uniforms parted and just about every man gave her a look of appreciation and admiration. Breda and Fuery were no exception. They both looked like they had been struck by cupid's arrow or had just seen an angel. All looks she very well deserved. Then the real kick to the nuts was when she took Grumman's arm and he gave Mustang a laugh and mock salute.

The words he had heard so many times drifted through his head. _Maybe you might be interested in marrying my granddaughter? A young man like you without a wife, well that just comes across as unsettled. You'd really like her._

Then the words he didn't recall coming from his superior's mouth drifted to his ears. "_Impotent_ Colonel." That was because they came from some smart-assed kid slumped against a wall with a broken arm. "Shut up Fullmetal."

* * *

><p>Riza couldn't stop thinking about Roy the entire night and she knew her grandfather caught on to it. Every time he had to say her name to get her attention there was that knowing grin on his face when she looked at him. All she kept thinking was that Roy really was a long way away from the awkward apprentice of her father's. Not that he hadn't always been attractive, but there was a difference between cute and <em>damn<em> hot. Still, he probably changed a lot since those days. Just like she had.

"Riza?"

Damn, she was doing it again. "Sorry, Grandfather. What were you saying?"

"He's single."

She looked across the table at his innocent grin, but the old man was far from innocent. "Who?"

"Your _impotent _Colonel." Grumman chuckled. Damn, that should take the arrogant shit down a few pegs.

"It's no wonder, if he can't figure out how to pay attention to the weather." She reached for her wine and let the 'impotent' remark slide. _Nice choice of words, Riza._ She was just so angry at him for not paying attention to the environment. He knew better! "He struggled with it when he was working on Father's notes."

"Oh?" Grumman snorted. "I thought you swore there was nothing, not even a kiss goodbye, between you two."

She glared at him. He was horrible. "The alchemy. He's so narrow-minded when he starts to focus on the transmutation that he doesn't notice the rain. The gloves were the best option but they had their failings. How he can manipulate the atmosphere without considering the rain is beyond me."

"Seems like all we've talked about tonight is my subordinate." Grumman said and looked around the restaurant. He was surprised Mustang wasn't already here, strolling in with some rented woman from Christmas's on his arm pretending he wasn't here to secure some time with the woman who just saved his ass. "However that's why I thought you'd be interested in serving as his bodyguard. You see what I have to deal with? I know he's an officer, but he's still a valuable weapon and the Fuhrer will have me shot if the fool dies while he's under my command."

"I don't know." She toyed with her napkin and considered working with him again. They always did work so well together but that was different from a military position. They were so young and learning alchemy was a long way from a full time job.

"Unless you're looking to pursue...other options of guarding his body?" Grumman chuckled.

She tried to glare at him but he was laughing too hard to notice. "You're horrible."

"I'm serious. He's got a horrible reputation but I see through it. He'll do anything for his men and protects those Elrics as much as he can. He's got aspirations, you know. He's going to need a good woman beside him to get there." The old General watched his granddaughter shake her head.

"I'm confused. Exactly what are you pushing for?" Riza asked and narrowed her eyes at him. "A bodyguard or a wife? You can't have both and I'm not sure I want either position."

"I'd love great-grandchildren but I guess I'll have to ask him more about that 'impotent' problem of his next time we play chess." Grumman chuckled. Oh, this was the best night ever.

"Grandfather. What do you want?" She repeated.

"I want to pee." Grumman said and threw his napkin down. "I'm an old man and can't drink that much wine and not have to go to the little boys room every ten minutes. Ugh, don't get old Riza."

She shook her head. He was aggravating, however it gave her some time to think about this evening's events. When Grumman had invited her to stay with him he immediately informed her of how her father's old apprentice was doing. It was no secret that the Flame Alchemist was doing well. She had followed his career as closely as she could from the newspapers that arrived at her father's home. Had things worked out differently, she would have followed him into the military to watch over him and her secret. Instead she went home to board up the windows in preparation of leaving for years, fell and broke her arm. Damned, rotted old ladder sent her future in a different direction and she couldn't help but wonder what she missed out on. Almost on cue, the seat across from her was occupied by a new individual.

"What kind of a man leaves a beautiful woman like you alone to eat by herself?" Roy asked as she didn't even bat an eye at his intrusion.

"You." She said casually even though her heart rate sped up. "You never came to dinner, I always had to bring it to you."

He bit his lip. "Well I was a blind fool."

"Was?" She huffed. "Roy Mustang, you almost were a dead fool today. What is wrong with you? How could you just walk out there in the rain to confront that serial killer? What would have happened had I not been there?"

This wasn't going how he planned. "I would have never known you were in town."

"I'm here visiting my grandfather." She said. "Who will be back any minute and he is in a mood. Unless you are prepared to answer fertility questions, you best get out of his seat."

"No, he won't be back." Roy said and regretted being left with the duty to inform her that this was Grumman's little plan. How the General's call had come in when he walked into his apartment and told him that if he hurried, he might just get a free dinner with a lovely young woman. So he quickly peeled off his soaking wet uniform, took the world's fastest shower, dressed and rushed over. His car was parked on the sidewalk two blocks down, he wasn't going to loop the block again looking for a spot. They could tow the damned thing for all he cared. "He sort of...left."

She threw her napkin down on the table. "Meddling old man."

"So, can we catch up?" Roy asked. "You saved my life tonight, I'd like to pay you back somehow."

She looked over at him and couldn't say no. He looked incredible in a three piece suit and slicked back hair and she was dying to find out if he changed since those days. "How did we lose touch Roy?"

He toyed with the eating utensils. "I wasn't brave enough to face you and tell you what I did with the secrets you gave me. After Ishval, I just couldn't."

"Can you tell me now?" She asked. "Or are you going to keep avoiding me?"

"Riza, if you knew how hard it was to not look for you when I needed to make sense of it all..."

"Why didn't you? It was my burden too. I gave you the information, helped you with the gloves...then I never heard from you again." She saw him look up with sorrow filled eyes and knew that there was so much more to this. "However I think we need to start with something a little less intense."

He loved how she could always read his face. "Thank you for saving my life."

"What in the world possessed you to just stroll out there in the rain?" She asked and saw him relax and settle into the chair.

"I lost my temper, stopped thinking clearly. He was trying to kill these two kids I have under my command..."

"Not how it looked from where I was standing." She said wryly. "It looked like you were a little too cocky."

"Something I'm sure I won't forget now that you taught Fullmetal the word 'impotent' and he's going to use it every chance he gets." Roy reached for the wine and figured it wouldn't hurt to just finish off the glass.

"Better your injured ego than body." She said and he lifted his eyes to her A smile formed on his face.

"After your...rescue, I dare say there will quite a few men willing to sacrifice both to have you save them from their stupidity."

"Don't make it a habit, Mustang." She said. "I might not be there next time."

"I have a lot of bad habits." He said softly. "Maybe you can stick around and try to correct some of those."

"You've yet to make it past the first date." She said coyly.

"Challenge accepted." He replied and filled her wine glass. "You look great, by the way."

"So do you." She blushed a little and looked at the wine in her glass instead of him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He said and watched her eyes return to his as he put the wine back into the ice bucket. "I missed you kicking my ass and calling me out on my bullshit."

"Is that all?" She asked jokingly and saw a serious expression affix to his face for the first time today.

"No." He said it softly and reached over to take her hand. "You're one of a kind, Riza. You may not have known it, but you got me though some really rough times and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you that."

She squeezed his hand and hoped that they could go back to those days when they would sit in the grass and talk about everything. God and fate, science and religion and life and death. From his sisters and the life they lived to how many kids they thought they wanted. To think that chatty youth was still buried inside him somewhere made her wonder if he still scoffed at the notion of fate. A discussion for another time, certainly heavy material for the first date. "So how is your apprentice?"

Roy snorted. "Fullmetal? Not my apprentice, more like _a pretentious ass, _but he's alright_. _He's a tough kid."

She folded her hands and he sat back in his chair as he started to tell her about how he came to find the young alchemist, his team and the goals he set for himself to make amends for what he did during the war. She listened intently, enjoying his honestly and enthusiasm and his rich voice that sent tingles down her spine. Her grandfather's words came back to her as the restaurant emptied out and they got ready to close for the night. A position was vacant on his team, but it was going to be up to her which path she chose to take.


	14. Family

AN: This is because of some Wii game screencaps. (They're a bad influence.) A picture prompt I did on Tumblr.

* * *

><p><em>RoyAi Collection<em>

Chapter 14

**Family**

* * *

><p>Riza took a deep breath as she prepared herself to enter the ballroom. The Armstrongs always had interesting parties and it made her glad she was never invited to the 'special invitation' events they hosted. The sprawling estate was everything one imagined the home of the illustrious family would be, right down to the bronze statues and fancy tuna. Every room was thoroughly adorned with paintings of the family, the floors sparkled (thanks to Armstrong family famous recipe floor wax) and it was warm while still being imposing. The ballroom was decorated as if they were hosting a illustrious event and not just a party for a few friends. It was over the top and very ostentatious, yet somehow Alex managed to outshine the garish party decorations by wearing something uniquely <em>him<em>. Today it was a sparkling purple sequined jacket and Riza was glad he chose it over the thong he had been wearing at the pool earlier.

She was also thankful that the man gave the Elrics and Winry the opportunity to act like kids in his ancestral home, but she didn't know why he gave Roy the opportunity to act like a kid along with them. He never needed much coaxing to act like a child so for Roy and Ed to be in the same room, more-or-less the same pool, was a interesting judgment call. Alchemists were a destructive force of nature in their own right, the two most immature ones were even worse. Alex should have known better.

The events of the afternoon were well behind her and right now her concern was her dress. She was still uncomfortably shifting around in it trying to get the fabric to conform to her better. It was clingy in places that defied physics. She had Roy to thank for that, as the dress was picked out months ago for a function in East City and she grabbed it without trying it on only to find out it didn't quit fit anymore. Roy assured her he could fix it with alchemy, he would just make it a touch shorter and it would be perfect. He needed to stop reading Breda's fanfiction, because 'hug her every curve in all the right places' was not good when applied to her dress. Talk about someone who should have known better. She got behind a statue and shifted her boobs around in the dress that might as well have been painted on.

"I think it looks great." Roy said as he swirled his ice in the scotch and smiled at her.

"I'm not happy with you _at all_ right now." Riza snapped and watched her breasts shift right back into the place they had been. This dress was like a monster all it's own.

He frowned. "Sorry about the dress, I just..."

"It didn't fit so you made it tighter?" She hissed. God she was just about ready to leave him here to fend off Catherine's affections on his own. That cute little girl was currently showing Havoc the museum of sex toys passed down in the Armstrong family for generations. Breda was still hyperventilating and laughing though tears in the bathroom because his best friend thought the glass pieces were 'sculptures' and not toys. 'Pleasing to the eye and body' was the words the sweet looking girl had used and when Jean followed her into the den without questioning that, Heymans didn't stop him. Roy almost deserved to suffer though the girl's advances and have to fend them off, he deserved a lot worse for creating this damned dress.

"Sorry." He reached out to try and touch her arm and she almost hit him while trying to readjust the dress. "Want me to try again?"

"No!" She growled. "You've done _enough_!"

He looked at her again and tried to wipe off his smile, but it just was chiseled on his face today. He hid it with his drink instead. "Want me to get you a drink?"

She glared at him.

"Water?" He asked and turned around. "Water it is."

Riza told herself she just had to get through this one night and then she could get back into something more comfortable. She walked over to the buffet table and looked at the display of food. Alphonse was jotting things down in his book, Ed was sampling and Winry was delighted to see someone who wasn't an immature teenage boy. Riza had to admit, she was glad too. "Winry, are you enjoying yourself?"

"I would be if the boys didn't remove all the water from the pool with alchemy." Winry said without bothering to tone it down.

"Yes, the Colonel setting the lawn on fire with citronella oil and tiki torches was hardly his best moment either." Riza said dryly.

Roy paused as he heard that and gave her weak smile of apology as he handed her her a wine glass filled with water. Then he went over to Armstrong to talk about the damages to the pool and the prospect of blaming it all on Ed. He stood behind Riza and Armstrong babbled about Havoc and Catherine being so cute together and something about his baby sister's enthusiasm for toys. He ignored him, there wasn't anything that could take his eyes off Riza right now, nor wipe the smile off his face as he looked at her.

Winry sipped her lemonade and noticed something a little off about Riza. Was it the dress? "That's an interesting dress."

Riza nodded and self consciously tried to smooth it out and make it less bizarre. "It defies the laws of fabric and gravity, a new line of alchemy inspired fashion."

Winry looked over at Mustang who had some dumb smile on his face as he stared at Riza. "Well, I wish I could say I didn't understand, however I have been the victim of a few helpful fashion transmutations gone wrong."

Riza drank some water and hoped the girl would just move on.

"Why didn't you swim with us today...well before the guys blew all the water out of the pool and turned the yard into a wildfire?" Winry couldn't stop looking at Mustang's face. He had this dopey smile, completely lost in his own world as he stared at Riza. He was always so much better at hiding it, but today he just didn't seem to care.

"I could see the lurking danger in getting in the kiddie pool. I figured I'd wait for the adult swim." Riza said and a server came by to offer her a refill on her drink. "No thanks, I'm just drinking water."

"Water?" Riza was drinking water at a party? Roy was still looking weird and it wasn't because of the kinky stuff Armstrong was telling him. Winry jokingly said, "You're not pregnant are you?"

Riza felt her cheeks flush and immediately put the glass to her lips and tried to calm down her panic as she heard Armstrong gasp.

"Oh..." Alex closed his eyes and held back tears of joy. "Please, Colonel...tell me we get the precious RoyAi babies we've all been wishing for!"

Ed looked over as things went silent at that end of the table. He saw Mustang's grin first and knew from that smile that something was up. Then he looked at Hawkeye as she downed her water. "Oh my God!"

"You are!?" Winry gasped and then looked to Roy for confirmation. _ That grin_ told her everything. "Oh my God...you are!"

"Well we weren't going to announce it..." Roy said with that unfading smile as Riza slammed her glass down onto the table. "Ever. Sort of a...minor issue with that fraternization law."

Riza tried to come up with something to say as Winry jumped up and down and made gurgling sounds while Al gushed along side her. Alex confessed he wished for them to have kids every time he blew out his birthday candles. Still Roy's words were all she focused on. _Minor_ issue. That man was supposed to be a brilliant leader and tactician and he was going to downplay this as a _minor_ issue? They weren't stealing pens they were having sex in the supply closet on breaks and after hours! Damn that shoulder holster! She should have never admitted that turned her on. "We just found out."

Roy kept glowing. Yes, Riza was pissed especially since he had stopped using his brain immediately after she told him yesterday. She wanted to discuss it like adults, two adults who had screwed up and defied the odds of the effectiveness of the modern birth control pill by screwing like teenagers every damned change they got. It was very possible that their child was conceived on his desk in the office when they were supposed to be finishing budget reports. She wanted to talk and he just sat there smiling and babbling about how they were going to have a baby and it was the best day of his life. So discussion was put off until after the weekend when he could come down off his euphoric high brought on by the promise of fatherhood. Oh well. This wasn't his fault, Riza was the one who let the cat out of the bag. So he kept smiling and nothing could take that from him. He was going to be a father!

Alex cried and hugged Roy. This was like a dream come true! Even he had been wrapped up with the Lt. Colonel Hughes's fantasies of how adorable Roy and Riza would be as parents. A cute little version of them, learning alchemy and playing with Elicia. How the youngster would have Roy wrapped around his or her little finger and Riza would have to be the adult and lay down the rules. The cute little baby Amestrian uniforms they could buy in the gift shop and dress up the future General. He cried even more now and squeezed Roy harder. He wanted to see the baby now! Why did they take so long to grow!? "It will be the most beautiful baby!"

"Like Hawkeye needs another baby to take care of." Ed mumbled.

"Are you excited!?" Winry gushed. "Oh my God! Are you getting married!?"

Riza bit her lip. This was how everything got out of hand so quickly. She closed her eyes. God she wished she could responsibly drink right now. "We were going to discuss this _after_ the weekend."

"You're not excited?" Al's voice betrayed his confusion.

"Al, things are complicated." Riza didn't want to turn and look at Roy, he was just going to have that dumb smile on his face that told her his brain still wasn't functioning. _ Come on Colonel, I could use you right now to figure this out!_

"You're having the baby...aren't you?" Al whispered.

Roy's smile finally left him. It hurt his face to have the smile vanish for the first time in almost two days, but not as much as the panic that it was an option she could choose. He didn't consider that. He just assumed things would play out like this, that they'd never really choose to have kids that it would just happen because they'd never stop working. Mathematically the odds were eventually in favor that they would exceed the success rate of the birth control. I mean, in retrospect, he was surprised it took this long. However, he just assumed she wanted that too. They talked about this...they wanted a family. Sure it wasn't the right time, but when would it ever be the right time. Oh God, what if she didn't want his baby!

Riza turned to him. The man she loved. The idiot she followed. The father of her baby. The adorable round head in the nook of Alex's bulging arm, threatening to be crushed. Was there anything to discuss in that regard? Could she really say no to a life they created? "Yes. We're having a baby."

Roy breathed a sigh of relief. However it was enough of a scare to make his mind start working again and he locked eyes with her as Alex threatened to pop them out of his skull. He choked out, "So, maybe we can keep this quiet? Maybe you can let me go?"

Winry nodded. "Absolutely. We're here to help!"

Then the moment was shattered, along with Jean Havoc's innocence, as a scream echoed through the halls of the Armstrong estate. The pact between these friends and two future parents was silently sealed as Havoc's voice reached their ears. "You mean they're all glass dicks!?"

"I hope you have a girl." Winry said and squeezed Riza's hand.

"Me too." Riza sighed as she heard Breda's laughter from the bathroom.

Alex let go of Roy to rip off his shirt and start to sparkle in all his manly goodness. "Let's celebrate this new life with a toast!"

Roy coughed and walked over to Riza to loop his arm around her. "How do we celebrate anything with his partial nudity?"

"Are you finally ready to talk about this?" She whispered. "I need to talk about this. I'm freaking out a little."

"Sure, let's go for a walk." Roy put the scotch in Al's hand and said, "Give that to Havoc when he gets back."

"Ok." Al said happy to be trusted with alcohol at his young age, even if he couldn't drink it with his current body. It made him feel mature. "Congratulations."

Roy grinned and hugged the huge armored suit, still not quite over the excitement. "Thank you!"

Riza grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away before he got around to toasting and that stupid smile worked it's way back onto his face again. Then she saw it, his glow and realized it was too late. "Are you still with me Colonel?"

"Yes." He nodded and looped his arm around her waist again. "So, I'm thinking Maes for a boy and Elizabeth for a girl."

"Roy." She growled. "Focus on the problem of you being unemployed for getting being pregnant first."

"Right." He nodded. "I wonder if he or she will be an alchemist."

"Roy..."

"Right." He said and kissed her head as she looked up at him with her worried eyes. "Sorry, let's figure it all out and then we can celebrate. We're having a baby Riza. You and me. We're going to do this right, not like what we had to go through. No, we're going to be the best damned parents in the world and Hayate is going to be the best big brother. Then we're going to change this world so that our kid doesn't have to go through the hell we did. This is only going to make us stronger, not vulnerable."

She digested that as they walked out onto the patio and looked up at the night sky. The sky was clear but the light pollution of the city dimmed the amount of stars they could see. It was nothing like the country sky she grew up. She leaned against the railing and looked up anyway, looking harder for the constellations that were hiding behind the filter of light. She knew he was looking at her with that dumb glow on his face again. Finally she let herself smile. "I like the names."

"Do you like the idea of being my wife and starting a family?" He asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" She said and he wrapped his hand around hers on the railing. Then they both jumped as firework started from somewhere near the pool. She looked down as the Elrics waved to them from below and continued the celebratory pyrotechnic display. Roy wrapped his arm around her and they watched it from the balcony. "Roy?"

"Mmm?"

"We're having a baby." She said it and let the words finally sink in.

"Riza?"

"Mmmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

She looked up at him and bit her lip. Then tears began to fall and she wanted to tell him this wasn't a discussion that convinced her that everything was going to be OK. However she felt confident and ready for what was going to come as she said, "Yes."


End file.
